What happens when we do not have time to be with our children
The rhythm of life that we impose (or that is imposed on us) to our children from an early age is going to mark their character and not just their education. We have little time to be with them and the little we have available, we do not know how to enjoy it in their company. How will our pace of life affect them?
Remember that at these ages I lived with parents are very significant experiences for children, which deeply mark their mood in the future: pessimistic / optimistic, happy / sad, introverted / sociable ...
Therefore, it is more important than it seems: take time to be with your children, do it for them. It's about making the most of the time we have to be with our children. It is not so much quantity as quality.
How to get everyone to spend it well
The important thing is that we have a good time with our children, that the relationship is rewarding for all. Have fun with them and have fun with them. How to get this?
In the first place, it is fundamental that we are with our children relaxed, without hurry, without thinking about what we have just done or the thousand things that we have left to do.
We have to devise activities for home, leisure time, the weekend, which are pleasurable for the whole family. This does not mean that we have to be playing all day. What it is about is learning to perform each activity of daily life in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. Gratifying does not mean lack of demand. Rather, the demand must be given in a climate of warmth, in a good emotional relationship. Remember that the true happiness of the child goes through an educational style that is composed half of tenderness and discipline.
A deep knowledge of our children is also very important. Know what their tastes, their illusions, their capabilities, their problems. For this it is essential to listen and understand our children. Knowing intuit what they need or worry them. This way we will avoid forming an unreal image of them, made to our measure, often resulting from our frustrations or failures.
So, if we observe that our son has few friends, no illusion, is sad, easily frustrated, spends a lot of time alone, ... once the physical problems are ruled out, it is time to think that the values (optimism, joy, tenacity, ...) they are not explained but they are transmitted with our life.
Ideas to reflect
1. Let's analyze if the feeding and the hours of sleep They are the right ones so that you can develop all your daily activities with energy and enthusiasm.
2. Maybe it's time to re-analyze the educational guidelines that we continue at home regarding tolerance, authority, love, ...
3. How is the time we dedicate to our son, if we know how to have fun with him, without forgetting that every circumstance of life is an educational opportunity, that he has to lead us to be and help them to be better people.
4. We must know our son in depth: what he likes, what fun, what desires and aspirations he has, what he is capable of doing. And let us know for them. Mutual knowledge and mutual activities will be rewarding for both, will improve communication and create the right climate for the real requirement.
5. It would be good to review the schedule of activities of our son and ask ourselves if all of them are necessary and truly formative. Excess activity, in any person but especially in children, is a safe source of stress.
Tips to change
1. Let's carry out activities with our son that allow him to have fun at the same time being in contact with others, overcoming small difficulties, contact with nature, ... such as: field trips with marches appropriate to his age, start in a sport such as tennis or basketball, do manual works or models.
2. When we see you sad or worried Let us ask him what is wrong, listen carefully and teach him to interpret these setbacks in a positive way, helping him to propose solutions and alternatives.
Marisol Nuevo Espín