The arrival of a little brother, good or bad news?
The arrival of a little brother, a new member to the family, is always news full of hope and expectations. When we have more children, pregnancy is already a known experience, and it is usually lived with more tranquility. In spite of this, one of the most frequent unknowns that arise is about which from now on he will be the older brother / sister. How will this new addition live, what will be the older brother? Will the fearsome "princely or dethroned princess syndrome" suffer? Are you going to be jealous?
For a child, having a little brother always involves variations. Everyone in the family has to adapt to the new circumstances, and the smallest are those who can suffer these changes more. As parents, we can make this transition easier for them, so that they too will live this new stage with enthusiasm.
The arrival of a little brother: start from pregnancy
Begin to deal with the issue with which will be older brother since pregnancy can make things much easier. These proposals can help you not to lose sight of those who are going to be older brothers and initiate you in this important role change.
1. Anticipate what will happen: I'm sure we still keep his ultrasound scans and the clothes he wore as a newborn, as well as photos of his first days of life. Putting images reduces uncertainty, facilitates the creation of a mental image of what is going to be. In addition, we can explain that like them when they were born, the new little brother is going to need a lot of care, because he is so small, and we can all collaborate.
2. Create link from the beginning: we can take some time out in the day so that our little one can lie down on the gut and talk to the baby about what he wants. We can also encourage you to make a drawing, donate a stuffed animal, see the ultrasound or make a decision, such as the color of the walls of the baby's room. In this way, the child will feel that he already has a relationship with the baby that is going to be born.
3. He / she is also important in the hospital: the baby can "bring" a gift to his older brother. We will try that the visits take into account when they come to know the baby, that not all the attention falls on the newborn.
4. The role of the couple: With the birth, nature reigns, and the mother spends practically all her time to the new baby. Therefore, our partner is the best ally so as not to neglect the older brother / sister. It is time to have exclusive time, make you feel very important, this way we will facilitate the transition of roles, if previously we have anticipated that mom will have to be very aware of the baby.
5. Time is money: Despite having to be aware of the baby, we can find some time to share with the eldest alone. You can also help us with baby things, like putting on clothes, putting on your bib, and showing your favorite stuffed animals. Letting him create the bond with his brother will make him see him as an ally, and not someone who takes away our space.
In spite of everything, the jealousy for the new brother is frequent, and they do not have to be worrisome, provided that we attend them well, from affection and understanding. Learning to share is a vital lesson that at some point every child has to go through, and siblings are the best way to live it.
Blanca Santos. Child and adolescent psychologist of Psicólogos Pozuelo. Expert in Attachment Psychology, Primary Link, and Early Childhood