3 elements that influence the management of emotions

Emotional intelligence is something that begins to form from the womb. As our children grow, their emotions will become more complex, as will their response to them. Teaching our children to understand and manage their emotions is a task that we can start from an early age.

From the age of three, children are able to exercise some control over their reactions, so it is possible to practice emotional management with them. As the psychologist and emotional education expert Begoña Ibarrola explains, "Babies, from the time they are in the womb, are able to perceive their mother's emotions and feel them." This is triggered by the melody of the mother's voice. Therefore, emotional intelligence is something that is built very early. "


The complexity of the emotions will develop as the child grows. First, communication will be limited to gestures and sounds. Then, our children will be able to identify their emotions, express them and face them differently. This process will continue until adulthood, because emotional intelligence requires continuous learning.

Non-verbal communication

It is easy to find an adult who speaks to a baby with exaggerated gestures and an unnatural tone of voice. These are the first emotional education lessons a baby receives.

Begoña Ibarrola explains that "the exaggeration of the gestures and the voice on the part of the adults is due to the fact that babies are known not to pay attention to words, because they still do not understand them, instead they listen to the melody of the voice and gestural movements This is an element of non-verbal emotional communication that will initiate education in emotional intelligence ".


The development of emotions

Emotional development starts very early. The first emotions that occur in babies are simpler and tend to manifest physically. These are limited to: joy, anger, sadness and fear.

As our children grow, the complexity of emotions increases. Children begin to be able to identify some such as surprise, shame, guilt, pride and empathy. This is because they begin to be aware of who they are and what they feel. In addition, children begin to change their way of reacting to emotions. If at first the answers were of a physical nature, as they grow, our children will elaborate thoughts and judgments that analyze the reason for the emotions they feel and will be able to make decisions and take them to action in a conscious way. Influences in the management emotional.


3 elements that influence the management of emotions

There are many elements that exert their influence in the way of expressing the emotions of children. Among them, the psychologist Begoña Ibarrola highlights the following:

1. The temperament: Each child has a different way of being that predisposes them to react in certain ways before certain emotions. This can be shaped through character so that they can respond in the best possible way.

2. Values ​​and beliefs of parents and educators: children often imitate what they observe in their environment. Therefore, the ways of acting in the management of the emotions of their parents or teachers, whether appropriate or not, can determine the way our children react.

3. Emotional needs: If the emotional needs of our children are usually satisfied, children will act more calmly before emotions, because they will not feel the desperation of not seeing their needs fulfilled.

Learning to manage emotions is a long way to adulthood. But it is possible to do so, especially after three years, when children are able to exercise self-control. As parents, we can guide our children as they grow up and their emotions become more complex. Thus, we can help them become people with a great capacity for emotional intelligence.

Isabel López Vázquez
Advice: Begoña Ibarrola, psychologist and writer.

Video: Daniel Goleman Introduces Emotional Intelligence


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