Stop feeling like the bad mother you're not
We are not bad mothers, but sometimes we doubt our abilities to deal with our busy day to day. That is why we must realize that, to enjoy motherhood, we must learn to lower standards, ask for help and simplify some aspects of our lives.
Many mothers have the feeling that they are not doing a good job when it comes to raising their children. There is even a famous expression that has been coined in recent years and that clearly reflects how many times we believe that we are not good enough. It is known as "Bad mothers", which has generated a new syndrome that in psychology is already known as the bad mother syndrome.
But what is the reason behind this fhigh confidence in our work as mothers? It is very simple: we have the impression that we are not able to be in everything and solve all the problems. We live in a time of frenetic pace, in which many women have joined the labor market. For this reason, we are forced to combine work schedules with the care of our family.
It is true that, at present, parents constantly collaborate with education and childcare, but the data still indicate that mothers are the ones who tend to deal with day to day. For this reason, we offer you some tips that you can use to stop feeling like the bad mother you are not.
Why do we feel guilty?
The first thing we must do is understand why we feel guilty. Mothers tend to set very high standards and unrealistic about how they should carry the day to day as a family. Lowering the standards a bit is difficult, but possible. To achieve this it is necessary that we forgive ourselves for our mistakes.
It is normal that from time to time we forget something, but we should not be martyred for it. After all, although many times we seem to have super powers, mothers are human beings and, sometimes, we are wrong.
It is also important that we stop Worrying too much about certain things that are not really important. It is not necessary for our children to always wear white dresses, it does not matter if we occasionally give in and let them watch television at odd hours, or if one day we do not feel like making the effort to invent a healthy menu. Not for that reason will we stop being good mothers.
Learning to ask for help
We are too used to doing everything on our own and in many occasions we do not know how to delegate the work to other people. This causes us to be overwhelmed many times, so it is necessary to learn to ask for help and accept it.
Sometimes, when we ask for help, We hope that those who help us do things exactly as we want. And we do not realize that things can be done in different ways and get the same results. This happens a lot with the male sex. We find it hard to understand that men act and think differently, but this does not make them less competent. That is why we must trust our husbands or partners to take care of part of the tasks involved in having a family.
Another way to delegate on a daily basis is to make a list of the responsibilities of each family member, especially for children, for example, to organize household chores as a family. We can find tasks that adapt to each one, such as ordering the room or watering the plants. This will be a way to lighten the workload and, at the same time, teach your children to be responsible and collaborators.
Simplify your life
In relation to lowering the standards a bit to live better, we must realize what is truly important. We will not have time to do everything, so we have to define what our priorities are and not let the urgent take away the most important weight.
If we do this, we will rid ourselves, little by little, of the stress and we will be able to enjoy our children and family. In this way, we will realize that we are good mothers and we will get rid of any famous expression that says otherwise.
Isabel López Vasquez