Why gifts of good grades can be harmful to your children

End-of-course grades arrive and many families wish to celebrate the good academic results of their children. Reward the effort of children with some good notes gifts or a detail is a habit for many parents and some do not stop wondering if they are doing well or if these gifts are beneficial or harmful to their children.

Should we reward our children with gifts for having taken out good notes? Many parents give their children gifts with video games, toys or video consoles thinking that every effort deserves a reward. However, it is also legitimate to think that everyone must fulfill their obligation and their work, and in the case of children, their goal is to get good grades.


In this sense, Ana Herrero, psychologist and coordinator of the Guidance Department of the Brains International Schools group, points out that "although some parents think that in the same way that they receive financial compensation for carrying out their work, it is just that the children receive a reward for having good grades, however, from the psychological point of view, it is a mistake to give gifts to the little ones for having obtained good grades ". He adds, "children will progressively understand that the process of learning is part of their responsibilities, our role is to recognize and value it, because we know it is good for them." We must remember that as parents any act we perform transmits values ​​to the most little ones".


5 reasons why avoid giving good notes gifts

1. Discourage orientation to excellence: children must understand that it is good for them to carry out their work, which also helps them to be more responsible, overcome difficulties, discover and develop their potential and understand the world around them. But in addition, it is good that they do it in the best possible way. In this way, they can learn to feel satisfied by the accomplishment of a job well done and not by the prize that comes after.

2. Encourages a materialist view of the world: Most children have more toys and games than they use. Material rewards and even in the form of money will only cause the child to feel recognized and satisfied when he receives something in return.

3. It could generate frustration: Many parents promise their children succulent prizes if they get good grades. However, in this case there is a double risk. If the child fails to meet the goals set by their parents, for example approve all subjects, the child will be frustrated by not having passed the course and by not having obtained the reward. If the results are not as expected, it is time to evaluate the causes. Involving children in understanding these causes and finding solutions is also helping them to be responsible and to value their work.


4. The learning process is distorted: The biggest reward of attending class is learning and having a little more knowledge each day. This must be transmitted to the little ones. Obtaining gifts for having good grades could confuse children, as they may think that the goal of the school is to get gifts.

5. It endangers the transmission of the value of responsibility: studying is the "work" of the youngest children and they will never be responsible if they do not learn that it is good to fulfill the tasks that correspond to them.

Making gifts to young children by getting good grades is not a good idea. But nevertheless. it is necessary that the parents recognize their work well done and the effort made (even if the results are not what they want). For this they can praise him, show his affection, do some activity with them like go to the movies or leave them some hours of game more in the videoconsola.

Marisol Nuevo Espín
Advice: Ana Herrero, psychologist and coordinator of the counseling department of the Brains International Schools group.

Video: Why Perfect Grades Don't Matter


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