5 questions to know if there is good communication in your family

According to the United Nations, family constitutes the basic unit of society. The relationship that is established is simple: if families enjoy health, our society also. But how do you know if our family unit is in good health and how can we strengthen cohesion and development among its members?

There are many types of families and, consequently, there are many types of families 'healthy happy'. The psychologist Jesus Matos, founder of In Mental Balance, highlights the close relationship that exists between family and individual well-being. "The family It is a support group in which people feel safe to develop. The main difference with friends is that we do not choose our family. "The social support that we perceive is, according to the expert, Euna of the variables most involved with well-being and the family can fulfill that function".


"Today society has also assumed as a family not chosen friends, opening much more scope of action on our individual development," says Matos, who adds that "welfare is a measure that is understood differently according to each case (each family nucleus will value some elements over others), but there are some of these that are or should be common to create cohesive families that add value to society ".

5 questions for good communication with the family

Five guidelines or habits that identify families that enjoy good 'family health':

1. Do you put quality before quantity?
Time is the enemy of 21st century families. The key is to give priority to quality over quantity. Making the most of the time we have available to carry out activities that satisfy everyone and encourage cohesion is essential.


2. Do you leave out the reproaches?
Overconfidence or, as we will see below, a vague definition of the limits of family members often leads to a common family malaise: reproach. The reproach is the negative response in the family. There is no scenario in which this occurs more frequently and the use and abuse of reproach between the couple, siblings or parents and children can cause much harm. We must learn to discard reproach as an element of defense.

3. Do you draw the boundaries?
Totally necessary. The lack of clear limits is one of the most common problems and has the worst consequences. Establishing them is a task for which it is necessary to be involved and accepted by all its members and which must be reviewed according to the circumstances surrounding the family. If we draw limits, it will be easier to establish guidelines and 'guidelines' with which to better measure problems and anticipate coherent and accepted solutions.


4. Do you practice assertive communication?
The family must speak clearly. Through empathy and understanding, we must work on this skill that consists in knowing how to express opinions, beliefs or feelings in a clear, direct way, whether pleasant or unpleasant for the interlocutor. It is not just about saying no, but also knowing how to ask for help or express a feeling. For it to work and be installed as a base in the family, assertiveness must be given completely. Not only must we be clear, but let us feel guilty about it. Assertiveness and protection are not at odds. Masking a reality can bring more problems in the medium and long term.

5. Do you support your members emotionally?
Emotional support is essential for the development of self-esteem, confidence and autonomy. The family must know how to value the qualities of its members and accept the defects, but without resorting to overprotection.

Living 'in family' makes us happier

A study by Harvard University, which began to develop in 1938, revealed that the best indicator of long-term happiness are stable relationships with family and friends. The director of the study, culminated 75 years later, Robert Waldinger, presented the conclusions highlighting the relationship between stable families and happiness.

According to this study, people with closer social relationships were free of chronic and mental illnesses, and had little loss of memory, although these relationships had several ups and downs.

Marina Berrio
Advice: Jesus Matos. Psychologist from the Complutense University of Madrid, master's degree in Clinical Psychology and Health (UCM). Founder of In mental equilibrium

It may interest you:

- 6 family models: their characteristics and their effects on children

- Living in a family makes us happier, according to Harvard

- 10 praise for each reproach: boost your children's self-esteem!

- Types of parents: with which do you identify?

- The leadership and authority of parents in the family

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