Complexes outside: the best method to raise your self-esteem
The best way to avoid the formation of inferiority complexes in our children is to avoid the education errors that create them. And this is not easy because, in many cases, we ourselves have suffered some complex of this kind that we unconsciously want to "make up for". How many times do we miss saying any defect of our children: "Me at your age ..."?
Although the cause of the complex is exorbitant demand, the secret of education to throw the complexes out is to get them to want what they should do. The question is to teach our children the importance not of doing what they want, but of wanting what they do.
It is evident that children need to be required, but not above the "possible". You have to reach a threshold where the requirement is easy enough for the child to meet, and difficult enough to overcome. This is advanced, because the threshold will rise.
Inferiority complexes: put yourself in their place
Sometimes, the inferiority complex is revealed with excessive shyness, laziness, fits of rage or more or less imaginative gibberish that can make us very nervous. In any case, we should always avoid reprimanding the facts related to your complex, its defects, through comparisons. But, of course, we can not let it go that does not make the bed, that is not ordered.
If we think about the suffering that a boy is suffering from an inferiority complex and how little he is guilty of his unconscious reactions, it will seem especially worthy of all our sympathy.
Find your strengths to raise your self-esteem
Both to fight against an inferiority complex and to prevent it, our son's strengths are fundamental. It will be necessary to patiently search for a quality in which it stands out especially. Surely it is easy: virtues, merits, hobbies, sports ... With this change of situation (from believing yourself inferior happens to realize that he is good at something) we will rehabilitate him before his own eyes and those of his brothers. And so we will save you and cure your complex in time.
Do not wait to find one of those strengths to show the guy that he does things right. Throughout the day there are a thousand opportunities to praise the well done: when he obeys, when he says something witty. The love of parents will make you find many of these occasions that will strengthen your self-esteem: your family is in favor of it.
Against defects: take our limitations
And if it is a real inferiority, physical, psychic, etc. instead of trying to hide it in their eyes with the vain hope that you can ignore it forever, let us teach it to sublimate it and place it in its just importance. The first is a bit coward and unreal. Maybe at home you will not talk about it, but in the street they will pepper you ... and we can not be overprotecting you at every moment.
A boy who must live with a defect has much merit and you have to make him see it this way, so that he has a high concept of himself. Each one presents some limitations, more or less accused, which must be assumed and some remarkable qualities that must be developed and promoted.
7 ideas to help overcome complexes
1. Every comparison is odious, especially when it is repetitive and we always leave the boy below. At his age we were not better or worse, just different.
2. The requirement, in itself, is not bad. What can create complex to our son is asking too much, knowing that he can not give so much of himself. We can help you by demanding easy things. As it goes fulfilling, we will continue increasing the level of demand.
3. A boy with complexes It can become unbearable when it does not react. It is the moment of tranquility: neither hit him, nor throw him in face that way of being. On the contrary, we must be sure that we are helping him.
4. Having complexes does not mean that you do not have duties at home. If you are late for lunch you will have to see it.
5. Discover their qualities to help you. Some special hobby, some sport in which it stands out, some virtue ... If we propose to recognize it, you will see the world with different eyes and you will feel rehabilitated.
6. Purpose: Let's try to praise three things a day. No need to wait to find virtues. Let him see that his family is in his favor.
7. When you have a defect we must not hide what is a reality: a defect. It's something he can not ignore. On the contrary, he has to overcome it and realize that he has much merit to know how to take it well. Let him realize that he is a special person so that he has a high concept of himself.
Although we have managed to overcome the complex of our son, the labels are not easy to forget and there will always be bad memories. For that reason, in some occasions, it is very advisable, whenever possible, to change the environment that helps the child "start over".For example: change class, start a new extracurricular activity with new partners, find a new group of friends through a cousin or a neighbor ... It is not about avoiding the complex, but to overcome it first and then avoid fall for the memories of past bad times.
Advice: Luisa Guarnero. Specialist in Education and Pedagogy.