A room just for your baby
Since the baby came home, the three of you have gotten used to sleeping in the same room, but the situation can not last forever. You need privacy and your baby has to get used to sleeping alone.
From six or eight months, it is time for you to move your crib to another room, preferably the closest to yours. If it seems premature, maybe you can wait a little longer, but never delay the change beyond your first birthday.
The education of a child should not be understood as an orderly way of making him see how hard life is. But there are many parents who cling to this argument to rdelay the delivery of the baby from the parents' room.
The truth, however, is that this early effort-it is not known whether it causes more suffering to parents or babies-is a necessary measure, which does not necessarily have to be traumatic. It will be especially important to start the formation of our children with a good footing and at the appropriate time. Take the child out of the room when he is only six or seven months old It is certainly hard, but in no way a cruelty.
The ideal time to move the baby to your room
Between six and twelve months, it is the ideal time for you to accustom the child to sleep alone. This will be your first step in the development of your independence and your personality.
Breaking the bond with the mother is something that must occur naturally and without trauma. Sleeping apart will be a point of support for both mother and child to build their relationship from a perspective richer than pure and simple physical dependence. Obviously, the baby will continue to require his parents when he sleeps alone, but the situation will have changed.
More privacy for parents
But that is not the only reason. The educational task must always start with the most basic when imposing limits on daily life. Now it's about have own room and begin to respect the intimacy that their parents must keep with each other, but later they will have to learn to eat with cutlery, to go to the bathroom, ...
The baby is not an intruder inside the parents' room, but Your stay should not be prolonged beyond twelve months.
Today is the day
As each teacher has his book, it will be the parents who decide for each child the opportune moment for the move. But it must be a decision without turning back. To choose the moment, we must take into account that the change does not coincide with others in their environment, or with an illness, etc. But once decided, it will be necessary to act firmly, accompanied by a good waste of affection.
It is essential that the baby does not interpret the exit from the parents' room as an abandonment. To avoid it, it is likely that during the first nights you have to pay much more attention than before. You will want water, pampering, consolation, ... in short, that you show him that you love him as much or more than when he slept with you. The larger it is, the more resources it will employ to keep you from separating from it.
Details that help
There are other factors that can make the change less traumatic too, such as lying down with a little light or with the door ajar, so you can hear your voices in the background if you wake up.
It is also advisable that the transfer includes your own crib and your pet. It would be too much to ask that, in addition to changing your room, we forced him to move his crib at the same time. In case you were still sleeping in the bassinet, you should keep it for the first week to give you security. To put him in his crib it will be better to wait until he is accustomed to his new room.
Ideally you would choose the room closest to yours to move, in order to hear if you call but in any case, you can always use an intercom.
Method for the transition from one room to another
Even before putting into practice the decision to move the baby to another room, parents should assume that they can approach a few nights Toledo, if you have waited too long to make the change. To avoid that these are more disturbing than necessary, the most advisable will be to act with a certain method.
1. It will be important to build before that date a routine before bedtime: dinner at a fixed time, bath, pajamas, tell a story ... You must occupy the hour before sleep with quiet activities, without hurry .
2. When you arrive on the first night you go to sleep alone, do not change that routine, except in relation to keeping you company until you fall asleep. This operation you have to do it for a while, and maybe you're even forced to repeat it several times a night if the kid stays awake.
3.If this happens, the only magic formula will be to splurge with the baby a lot of affection and patience to make him feel that he is not alone and that you love him as much or more than before. In any case, it would be best to be forewarned and look for a weekend, a bridge or a vacation to make the change. Be more rested for everyone.
And if he cries and cries
The separation can cause in the baby a certain anxiety that, although it does not have to worry you, if you will have to stop. The reaction caused by the transfer of room is not too spirited in any case. It is normal for the baby to protest and use all his resources to return to the place he used to be.
If it is something bigger, try to get up and go back to your room. With great firmness and all the love of the world, we will have to make him return to his room and accompany him until he reconciles the dream again.
Only a high fever or illness should be a valid excuse for you to make exceptions in your determination. It is hard to maintain firmness in the face of their cries and protests, but we must not forget that, despite them, he himself already demands -for his own development- greater autonomy.
Tips for moving your baby to your room
1. Firmness Once you take the first step, do not let any crying or tantrum make you give up. You may have to spend some time sleeping in the chair in your room, but it will always be better than giving in.
2. Create a routine around the time to sleep, preceded by quiet activities.
3. Do not threaten him never with sleeping alone.
4. Wastes imagination to get the baby to sleep while you talk or tell him stories or songs.
5. If the nights are being toledanas, and both husband and wife work, it is best to take turns to comfort and reassure the child.
6. Courage! Even if it costs you, he is the first to need that autonomy that you are giving him. And the earlier you do it, the more opportunities you give it to guide it within its own development.
Try to make the time of bedtime a really pleasant time for the baby, especially from the change. You can do it by finding a formula-a story, a moment of confidences and caresses, etc.-especially desirable for him. If you can find it, it is possible that he himself, when it is time to sleep, take the initiative to go to bed.
María Moll
Advice: Beatriz Bengoechea. Family counselor
