Rules at home, how to exhibit them and which ones to remember
How to decide what is wrong and what is good? How to define what can be done and what can not be done? The rules They are a good tool to establish boundaries in any community and the family is no exception. In every home there must be some basic rules so that the situation does not get out of hand. A structure that helps children know what behaviors are expected of them.
What steps must be followed to agree on standards? Are there some essentials or can everything be negotiated? For those parents who have problems when establishing rules In your home, the Department of Health and Human Resources of the United States Government gives a series of tips to create this structure.
What rules must be applied
The first step to establish the rules is to review the value system of the family and check if there are problems to solve. For example, if the children show autonomy and do not need to be reminded of responsibilities such as making a bed or that at home should not be run, perhaps these rules may be in the background. However, if for example there is a problem when sitting at the table, we must begin with this aspect.
Keep in mind that the child is not able to internalize and remember a complex system of rules. For this reason, it is recommended to start by first applying rules to solve problematic behaviors. These opinions should be simple and easy to understand: "At the table you do not play" or "If we call you, you must respond". It is not advisable to be imprecise with phrases like "behave yourself".
You also have to be realistic with the child's age. You can not expect behavior similar to that of adults. The rules should focus on avoiding unacceptable behaviors such as "do not hit other children", "do not interrupt people when they speak", "ask for permission".
On the other hand, it is recommended that parents comply with the rules that apply. The parents are the mirror in which the youngest children look and if they do not follow the rules they indicate, why should their children do it? In this sense, a system of punishments is also recommended when a behavior It does not fit as expected.
Basic rules
As has been said, the system of norms must conform to the behaviors that parents want to solve in their children. But there are some rules that can be established in a generic way to channel the behavior of children from a first moment:
- At home you do not run or the furniture is swings. This standard seeks the safety of the child and avoid domestic accidents.
- Do not hit, if there is a problem it is best to talk or tell a grown-up. Relationships between children in school or between siblings can lead to conflict. Violence should never be the solution, it is always better to go to an adult to warn of the problem.
- Respect to everyone. If someone does good for the child, he should answer thank you. If you must ask for something, a "please" should not miss. Good education and respect should always be present.
- When there is doubt, ask permission. The child does not know if he can do something, has he been invited to a birthday party? In these, the child must know that you must ask permission before giving an answer.
Damián Montero
