My son does not want my support, should I respect his decision?
What parent does not want to help your child? When you see a child or a Teen In trouble the first impulse is to approach to provide all the support and ask if there is anything you can do to improve your situation. But what to do when this attitude causes rejection, when this help is denied by the younger ones? Do you have to respect your situation?
This rejection of support, which is especially appreciated in adolescents, is one of the topics covered by the Understood Foundation and where the causes of this negativity are explained. Understanding why this attitude occurs in young people will help to manage the situation more effectively and apply the limits in the approach when necessary to respect their own decisions.
Why is rejection?
Adolescence it is synonymous with independence. Young people begin to gain autonomy and want to operate for themselves, they feel different from their parents. This is one of the main reasons why they reject this support. At this age it is thought that the advice given by an adult will not serve as it does not understand their situation, so they will always choose, if they need help, their friends.
At the same time, the desire for autonomy can also cause frustration when they see that their parents want to help them. Instead of taking it as support, teens can take this attitude as an attack against their independence, from their point of view young people believe that their parents do not trust their maturity. This causes some frustration in them.
Both situations usually lead to a conflict between parents and teenage children that can make the tension grow. Parents must learn to stop arguing when the tension deepens. You have to know how to guide your children to convert this situation into a good dialogue that allows you to reach a common point.
Talk and do not argue
At times when the adolescent offers symptoms of discussing the best thing is to stop trying to accept the help and ask what it is that produces rejection. At this point it is best to ask the child about his vision and his future plan and what his action plan is, as well as the objectives set. In this way the young man will see that his parents respect their autonomy.
At the same time, parents should remind them that asking for help is not to be weakIt is a good idea to exemplify cases from your own past when the now adults requested the advice of their parents. Although adolescents can choose, and in fact, this must be so as to gain autonomy, there is never a more experienced point of view to be able to assess all the prisms.
Ultimately, the best thing to do is to show that the criterion of parents, but this is going to be one more advice in times of uncertainty. Make see that you will always have this help and that it is he who has to decide.
Damián Montero
