Attach or parents helicopter, where is the difference?
The concept "helicopter father"refers to those parents who overprotect their children, in these cases they are prevented from all danger, creating a protective bubble around them that prevents them from developing their independence, a situation that is not recommended as it does not favor personal growth and the autonomy of the smallest.
However, where is the difference? What is the limit between the attachment that makes parents support their children and creating this world without pain that prevents the development of autonomy? About it speaks Teacher Nerea, psychopedagogue who offers the keys to know how to put the limit between a helicopter father and another that accompanies the children to help them but never give it all done.
Children have to fall
No father likes to see how his son has a bad time, and therefore, sometimes they prefer to put the plaster before the wound appears. Therefore they are introduced into a bubble in which nothing can happen to them. An example is the child who always finds his backpack prepared, even in those days that he forgets, and does not know the consequences of this lack.
Helicopter parents do not allow their children "fall"and learn from mistakes, any mistake you experience, carries with it a lesson learned.In the case of the prepared backpack, the children will know that if they do not attend a little more they will not be able to correctly follow the teacher's explanations. skills such as the response to errors will be developed.
You have to protect, but never overprotect. The children must be given the opportunity to fight all their battles and learn to win them. It is here where attachment comes into play. Throughout the years, children must see in their parents a figure in whom to seek support but never solutions. They must feel the confidence to ask: "What would you do in my place?"
Otherwise, the child will develop a dependency on their parents that will make it more difficult to start in adult life. Otherwise, the child will win self esteem, he will check that he can fight his own battles and find a solution. In addition, if the function of attachment has been fulfilled, they will also know that they have support in the case of feeling too lost and in it they can ask for support.
Differences between attachment and overprotection
What is the difference between attachment and overprotection? This educational psychologist explains some distinctions through clear examples:
- Guiding but not doing things for him. Children must learn to do things for themselves, that does not mean that they can not be given advice from a distance so they can have help.
- Praise the effort. The child must see that when he decides to fight his own battles, his parents are happy about this decision. Therefore, each time the child demonstrates this behavior, the response of their parents must be positive.
- The perfect does not exist. Nobody is born knowing, you have to learn little by little and day after day. The parents must assimilate that sometimes the children will not fulfill the first one, it is necessary to leave them time until they give answer.
- Give them responsibilities. Parents should carry responsibilities to their children at home and not assume them for them. An example is your room, if this is not picked up and for example you do not find the shirt you want is your problem, do not go and look for it.