Once upon a time there was a child who always spoke the truth
Is it necessary for our son to tell his first lie to seriously worry about educating him in sincerity? To avoid banishing from our vocabulary phrases such as "I've been a liar" or "you are a liar", before age 7 we have the opportunity to teach you the great advantages of always telling the truth.
"Lola is 4 years old, she was having dinner and the phone rang, and when Carmen, her mother, came back, she found that she had finished the tortilla and all the potatoes.
- "Are you finished?" - I asked.
-"Yes mom" -.
When I went to the trash, I found half the tortilla.
But why did he lie to me? Are you afraid of being punished for having to eat everything? "I asked myself.
Children from 1 to 6 years old lie for several reasons but the main thing is that we realize that they still do not have a moral intentionality. Maybe they are afraid, they want to wriggle out or seek our attention. For this reason, you have to see that lie in its proper measure.
The best time to teach to tell the truth
Of the 3 up to 9 years, you are in the best time to teach your child what sincerity is, what you earn by telling the truth, how good you feel inside and what to mom, dad, "teachers" and friends like to see that is a child who does not cheat. "Do not wait until you're thirsty to start digging the well," says a Chinese proverb.
Why is the best time? Well, because your child is in the sensitive period of sincerity that begins at 3 years and ends at 9. The sensitive period is the time in which the brain is prepared for a particular learning.
What to do in the face of the first deceptions?
At these ages you can not say that your son is a liar because he sometimes deceives you. Actually, he starts with small goals (towards 3 or 4 years old) because he also needs to experience what he feels, because he wants to get away with it and due to the desire to have the opposite because at these ages they are in the middle of opposition.
"I mean, Lola, you've eaten all the tortilla (Carmen already knows that she has thrown it away) Well, well, I believe you because I trust you and you know that good children always tell the truth "
It is convenient that during first deceptions of your son let you put that goal but always leaving that discomfort that is experienced after lying because also, the little Lola has heard her mother say he trusts her.
Later, when you lie down, do not forget to tell a story about a child who was lying and lost his friends because nobody wanted a lying friend, or a child who always told the truth despite some mischief he committed. And give him again the opportunity to amend his mistake if your son still has not told you he has lied: "Lola, did you eat all the tortilla?"Carmen finally heard a no from her daughter and a confession:"I left something and threw it in the trash".
In this moment, when she has been brave and has finally told the truth, it is time to explain to her that by telling the truth she gains confidence, security, one feels better inside and her parents, the "profes" and the friends "love her plus.
If in spite of everything, you do not dare to say that you threw away the tortilla, it is time to explain it, with patience, that you have found out that you have not told the truth, because we discovered half of the tortilla in the garbage. The best punishment our daughter can receive is our sadness but then a show of confidence: "Lola, I know that next time you will not cheat me, because you do not want mom to be sad".
Maite Mijancos. Family Advisor