Emotional intelligence, the unfinished business of some parents
Family coexistence involves living different situations, from happy moments worthy of remembering always to others not so pretty and marked by discussions. In the latter case, the explosion of emotions can cause that instead of dialogue to solve these discrepancies, the environment becomes rarefied to the point of confronting our loved ones.
At this point, the emotional intelligence it is one of the keys to be able to resolve conflicts. Much is said about this ability in children and how important it is to manage their emotions, but what happens in the case of parents? Do they know how to manage everything they feel? To remember what this concept means, the Madrid's community He has prepared a guide for this purpose.
Emotional intelligence and family
The emotional intelligence could Defined as the ability of a person to manage a series of skills and attitudes. Among all the points that configure it include the self-awareness that allows to identify, express and control feelings. Thanks to this, the person learns to control impulses, learning to control tension and anxiety.
Thanks to emotional intelligence, parents have better options to identify conflicts, to know what happens to their children and to be able to put an end to these situations. Something that is important given the figure of authority that parents have in the home. However, there are times when you may be overwhelmed.
Facing the development of a child is not a simple task. Especially, parents first-time they face situations they did not know and that can arouse their worst emotions. If they are not controlled, during these fights the parents may end up imposing their authority in bad ways, not ending the dialogue correctly and demonstrating a lack of empathy for their children.
Work on emotional intelligence
The first step in getting good emotional intelligence is to have awareness of oneself. Knowing what it feels like and naming each of these sensations is vital. During family conflicts, whether with the couple or with the children, the parents must stop and review all the carousel they have lived in this regard.
It is also important to remember the development of the conversation in order to determine the causes of these emotions. In this way parents can know their Weaknesses and strengths, in which moments they were able to maintain calm and in which others let themselves be carried away by their feelings, altering and showing a character that did not contribute to the resolution of the conflict.
The purpose is to achieve emotional self-control with which to recognize, direct and channel intense reactions. The goal is to stay in a weather where feelings and sensations do not translate into unwanted behavior. For this you have to go through different phases:
- Become aware of the emotion that is being experienced.
- Being able to name emotion. Although it may seem obvious, being able to do this means knowing what it feels like and therefore knowing if it is recommended for the situation.
- Accept the feeling, freeing it from premature judgments or judgments.
- Recognize the triggers that have given rise to these negative emotions.
- Work to change those feelings that help in the resolution of family conflicts.
For this purpose it will also be necessary to work in the empathy, that is, the understanding and sensitivity towards the feelings of the children. To do this we must include in the emotional curriculum a good capacity to listen, recognize nonverbal language and also know how to keep quiet so that the other person can express their feelings. Thanks to this ability it will be possible to deepen the inner world of the children and to know them much better.
Damián Montero
