Agree to educate, the importance of not disagreeing
The education of children is something that concerns both parents, a common project in which there is a need to agree on many points. Sharing values is very important to achieve this mission, while the discrepancy confuses the children.
From the foundation Understood It explains how sharing a common vision in the education of children helps their correct development. A call to those families where one of the parents assumes the role of "good cop" and the other "bad". Ultimately this only confuses the little one by not being clear about the correct option.
The importance of agreeing
Not all people share the same values. No matter how similar the members of a couple are, there are always points of view that they do not share and these come to light especially in regard to the education of their children. Discrepancies are inevitable, but dialogue must be ensured in these situations. For this, the first step must be to find the specific point that is not in common.
An example is the father's attitude towards the tasks of the school. One of the parents may think that it is better to do them immediately after lunch after their arrival home, and the other one that is more convenient is to rest and then face this challenge with charged batteries. This discrepancy must be developed in private and never in front of the child.
If the child sees that there are two different points of view, it will not be clear to you which one you should follow. In these situations always bet on the choice that suits you and will be on behalf of the parent who defends it. In this way, the position of this father will be reinforced and will remain as the "good", causing the other point of view to be further distanced.
Once they have agreed, In private, parents should share this point of view with the child and commit to fulfill it. Of course, if you notice that the chosen model does not work, parents should re-evaluate the option chosen and see what can change. The dialogue must always be present above the imposition to find the most appropriate formula.
Talking with the couple
As has already been said, dialogue with the couple is very important when it comes to finding the educational model that will be applied at home. Here are some keys to be successful in this matter:
- No fanaticism. Different positions are inevitable, but it does not mean that they can not be complemented. There are some people who, when contradicted, defend their position to the ultimate consequences. You have to think that what our partner has to say can give us a valid perspective and that we had never thought about.
- Never disrespect. No one is smarter or knows less about having a point of view. Listening and knowing the other person's reasons for thinking like this is very important, something that should be done with respect.
- Hear. Just as a person wants to put their criteria on the table, the couple will also have this right and be heard equally.
Damián Montero
