Affective bond, a good relationship that should never forget the authority of the father
The relationship with the children is a point to take into account and to take care of the most. Creating an affective bond so that children trust their parents and maintain it throughout their development until adulthood is a task that requires effort Y dedication. But we must not forget that one thing is to be close to the minors and another to become one of their friends.
Do not confuse the link with a relationship of equals, but of trust between both. The authority can not be lost in front of the children and no matter how close the parents show to the children, they must keep the last word and never give the impression that in reality those who send at home are the smallest.
What characterizes the effective link?
Since Save The Children explain that the emotional bond It is something that must start from the earliest stages of the child. These are some keys to achieve it:
- Deal effectively and find out what happens to the children as soon as possible. Observation and listening when they speak is the key.
- Protect but without alarm. Every parent wants their child not to fall into danger, but neither should a continual sense of fear be created. If the child falls, you have to give him the opportunity to get up, not give the impression that something terrible has happened.
- Take time to play. Nothing unites more than playing and having fun, from these great moments a strong bond will be born.
- Limits and norms. The child needs guidance on how to live as a family and how to respect the rights of others to live in society.
Starting from this last point, the authority of the father must be at the forefront of the affective bond. It is true that the father protects his children, but this does not mean that he has to give up first and foremost. The child must also learn to manage the frustration and to learn that you can not always get everything, especially when the figure that has the last word at home is not him.
How to assert authority
The best thing to make clear from the beginning that the father manages the authority is to establish clear rules. These should also take into account the age of the children, so they should be revised to provide more autonomy as they go growing. Similarly, the closer they get to adulthood, the parents must allow their children to be asking for a change, although the last word always have to have the older.
You have to understand that the need to differentiate from parents, especially in adolescents is essential for the development of their own identity. The strange thing would be a young man do not question anything. The main challenge as parents is to accept the changes of this stage, offer care and stability, respecting their need for independence and privacy and their new tastes, but without forgetting their authority figure.
It is important to show a listening attitude and to reflect with your children about their points of view and ours. But to avoid conflict you should never give in to your requests if there are doubts about the suitability of these. To show support for It is a thing that every father should assure his children, but saying yes to everything in order not to argue is not a convenient situation.
Damián Montero
