The responsibility of children: how and with whom to be responsible
We all live in society and we must make our children understand that they are part of it. So, in addition to your rpersonal responsibilities, study, assignments, material, etc., children are also responsible, in some sense, for the people around them: parents, siblings, friends and schoolmates.
And in addition, it is important to teach them that they have some duties, which contribute to making things go better. From the most material things, such as not throwing things on the ground or not stepping on the gardens, even concern for others.
Let's give an example: I asked Teresa, a ten-year-old girl, what were her responsibilities, her duty and she told me to study, do homework. I insisted what else are you responsible for? After thinking for a while, he responded, from the family, from helping at home, from picking up things, from setting the table ... When I asked, and who are you responsible for? I received an answer, a face of astonishment and a moment of silence. After a while he said: to take care of my brother.
This conversation, so natural in a girl of that age, can leave us, with reason, satisfied. It can also serve as the basis to go one step further in your education and teach you to think about the needs of other people and understand them. In addition to his personal responsibilities, study, assignments, material, etc., he is responsible, in some sense, for the people around him: parents, brothers, friends, schoolmates.
The importance of seeing the utility of being responsible
It works very well for children to see the usefulness of their responsible acts and the consequences of their irresponsibility. The important thing is that they do not do things on orders, but because we need them and others need them.
So when the children have not done what they should, parents should not do the things of our children that they do. On the contrary, we must insist that they have some duties and that they must comply, not through a senseless obedience or as an imposed obligation, but because it has a utility, because it ends in a good for himself and for others.
In this way, children will not see work, duties, orders, order ... as a punishment, but as a good. Our children must experience the satisfaction of doing something for others, and not always look for their own good, what "suits me" or "I want".
Teach children to be responsible It does not mean teaching them to feel guilty. They can not acquire more responsibilities than their age and their maturity allows. Nor can we continually criticize and criticize their lack of responsibility. We should look for other rewards or praise. Children who learn to be responsible, make better decisions than those who have not learned to be responsible. Review with your child a list of responsibilities, not as an obligation, but making him see the personal satisfaction he produces, for himself and for others: at home, with others, with himself.
How and with whom to be responsible
WITH THE FAMILY
"Look, Pedro, mom and dad are not just to meet your needs, the house belongs to everyone, it's yours too, each one of us has to take care of everything so that everything goes well. You also have to be interested in the concerns of your parents and your brothers. "
Taking responsibility for things in the home is not a punishment, it is being better and things are better. It is not obeying by obeying, it has a meaning, a utility. Your responsibility does not end at the door of "my room" because you also have to take care of the things of others. In this way they will soon learn that the good progress of the house depends on everyone collaborating, according to their possibilities.
The child must learn that parents are not just to attend to their needs. In the same way that when he is sad his parents worry about his sadness, when he sees that his mother does not smile, or that his father has a worried face and does not speak, he comes to ask them what is wrong and how he can help them.
Another responsibility may be to take an interest in the life of the grandparents, visit them without any obligation. Also, participate by giving your point of view on some family decisions.
The brothers are very important. Together with them, many hours are spent, there are many experiences and one learns to take into account the point of view of others and to leave oneself. For that reason it is convenient to make them see, that among them all are responsible for each other. Not only the older brother, who is traditionally always responsible, but also the medium and the small one.
Our son must be clear about his responsibilities at home. If one day you can not do those jobs for any reason of weight we can say: "Since today you have to study, I will help you and I will put the table that is your assignment today."
"What do you prefer, knowing things, or not knowing them, knowing the whole lesson or not having any idea?" I know that now you want to watch television instead of studying. What would you think if I, instead of preparing dinner, would watch TV? "You would think that little mother, who is not responsible, does not take care of her children, you have to know your responsibilities to yourself. to give many satisfactions.
We have to motivate our children. Being able to take responsibility will help them to gain personality, strengthen their character, gain freedom, have more friends, feel better inside.
WITH THE REST
"You may think that you are not responsible for that partner of yours not having friends, but if you try to approach her, worry about her problems and help her, you will do her a great service, you will have done something very good and you will be more responsible".
Feeling responsible for others is love, it is acquiring a higher dimension. When they discover that they have done something good for a partner, they like it, they do it with joy. They feel proud of themselves, and the rest of them.
A child is responsible if ...
He performs his normal tasks without having to be reminded at all times.
You can reason what he does.
Do not blame others systematically.
Tells the truth about your actions.
He is able to choose between different alternatives.
You can play and work alone without anguish.
You can make decisions that differ from those others make in the group in which you move, always respecting others.
Respect and recognize the limits imposed by parents without useless or gratuitous discussions.
You can focus your attention on complicated tasks (depending on your age) for a certain time, without reaching situations of frustration.
Carry out what he says he is going to do.
Recognize your mistakes.
Source: Ministry of Education and Culture
Advice: Conchita Albistur. IEEE School Director of San Sebastián