5 mistakes that weaken children's self-esteem
When our son makes a mistake we must let him know so he can realize it and perhaps avoid repeating it again. We can not judge him for it. It is important to explain to him well why he should not behave like this and, in turn, tell him how to act so that the next time he does it correctly.
It is necessary to demand him with affection and give him the assurance that we want him equally, regardless of how he has behaved. Nor should we be afraid to scold him or think that we are going to frustrate him. We do not frustrate you with a NO, and not doing so can harm you.
The important thing in all the growth process of our children is that we give them the possibility of being, of feeling good about themselves, counting at all times with our affection, affection, appreciation of their qualities and supporting them when something goes wrong. For that, it is necessary to know each day favoring meetings, conversations and physical contact.
5 mistakes that weaken our son's self-esteem
1. Constantly scolding him for attention and highlighting the negative behaviors: we spent the day saying "no" (do not say that, do not do, do not put ...), scolding and pointing out what you should not or know how to do.
2. Judge the child's actions and label him / her: He who says a lie does not mean that they are a liar, the fact that it costs him to do a physical exercise does not make him clumsy, if something makes him lazy, that is not why he is lazy ...
3. Strike him before a small error: In many moments you will make mistakes, but do not forget that you are learning and discovering life. You have to give him the opportunity to try again and achieve it.
4. Do not trust him and his abilities, not considering him capable of doing an action in a positive way: to make him strong and secure, we must trust that he will be capable. There is no stronger force to achieve something than others consider you capable of doing.
5. Make emotional blackmail: Our feelings towards him do not change because of the way he does things, but sometimes he is made to see that it is so. We can not teach you that we love you more or less for how you behave. Our love is unconditional and that is what will give you the most security.
Increase self-esteem to your children! Start up these tips
- Be interested in your small achievements, flee from the mechanical praise and lose a couple of minutes in praising that first scribble that teaches you just when you are most tired.
- Watch your fatigue or your anger, so that we do not miss any other admonition.
- Try to maintain respect for the character of our son, and check periodically if the expectations we have placed in it are fair, reasonable and balanced.
- Avoid excess protection over the child and try to intervene in his wanderings only when there is some real danger.
- Propose goals that you are able to obtain and always takes the positive part of his speech, although the negative was much more important.
- Ask your opinion on everyday topics like where to go for a walk, what dessert to prepare, etc. This will make you feel important and self-value.
- Never resort to comparisons to rebuke or make him see how he has to behave. It is not good for either of the two children, and there is always one who loses.
Educating our children is a long-term task. Nourishing the self-esteem of your children may seem like a great challenge that requires dedication to achieve it, but the good news is that it is normal for your self-esteem levels to rise and fall in a cyclic way, and it is something that happens to all of us, including the most confident adults!
Marisol Nuevo Espín