Friendships in adolescents, how to teach them to recognize good companions?
What doubt fits the importance of friends at any stage of life? Having someone to talk to, in addition to your own family, in whom trusting our problems and asking for advice is necessary for everyone. Especially for adolescents, immersed in a stage of change and in which they feel more understood by people of their age than by their parents or other adult relatives.
Given the importance of this circle for adolescents, it is important that young people know how to choose well who enters be part of it. At this point, although parents can not decide for them, they can teach to recognize good companions, those who are always willing to help and who will offer magnificent values that together with those they find in their family, will make them They are great people.
What friendship means
The first step to teach to choose friends is knowing what characterizes these partners. There are those who define them as the family with whom blood or surnames are not shared. From the Spanish Association of Pediatrics, AEP, they emphasize that at these ages adolescents share with their group many conversations that help them to know themselves and understand the changes that occur in their lives. Sharing and comparing experiences and ideas with someone who is in the same situation, is discovering their new values and, ultimately, their identity.
As values to highlight of a healthy friendship, the following can be highlighted:
- Acceptance. The good friend will not try to change the teenager and do it like him, but he will accept him as he is and will value these particularities.
- The greatest benefit is friendship. The good friend does not try to take advantage of this link to get money or notes. It may happen that at times you can help, but if the relationship is based solely on these requests, it is not friendship.
- Mutual support. As has been said before, a friend helps in difficult times and when the teenager needs someone to listen to him, true friendship ensures support in this regard.
- No problems. A good friend wants the best for the other person. That is why he does not seek to get her into trouble. It is one thing to enjoy a good adventure, but always respecting the rest and avoiding doing something that could disturb you.
New forms of friendship
AEP also remembers how new technologies have changed the concept of friendship. Chats, forums, social networks and instant messaging applications have arrived to make our groups bigger than ever. But can you consider the person next to the screen as a good friend? Does it offer the same benefits as a real individual?
AEP recalls that around four out of five adolescents have a defined profile in a social network. Through them you can communicate not only with your friends, but also with strangers. A problem that translates into up to 10% of children between 11 and 16 years old potential victims of sexual harassment on the Internet, a number is increasing.
In addition, these virtual friendships do not offer the mimes Benefits than a link in person. For example, having a friend off the screen allows activities such as going to the movies, going for a walk, a field trip, playing a football game, watching it at the stadium. On the contrary, the screen does not facilitate these practices, besides that it can not give a hug in the case of needing it.
Parents should make their children understand that while social networks can allow a quick contact with a friend to ask a question about homework or make an appointment, they can not become the only link with their peers. Friendship, like any relationship, requires seeing yourself in person and enjoying the "you to you" that has so many benefits.
Damián Montero
