Back to work: when it's time for Mom to reconcile
Whether by necessity or by necessity, more and more mothers are finishing the time of maternity leave, they have to return to their work. The option of taking the children with one during the whole day is not good for the mother or her baby. However, although it requires some effort, there are many ways to organize and ensure that our children will have the best care.
The question of whether or not a mother should return to work can not be considered this way in this century. Sometimes, it's a free choice. In others, it is the need to contribute to the family economy. In any case, more and more women have to leave their babies for a few months to rejoin their jobs. And the photogenic idea of taking it to the office - or to the Congress of Deputies - is not the best option for either the mother or the child.
Beyond the repeated requests for public powers to guarantee conciliation, parents must adapt to the situations that are imposed on us and, in any case, avoid any feeling of guilt for not being present at every minute of our children's lives .
In fact, while older children demand the constant presence of parents, babies, if there is proper attachment, it is enough for someone to feed them, keep them clean and provide them with a good nap. Who does it is not of great importance to them, so that there will be no trauma if it is someone else who gives him a bottle or changes his diaper a few hours a day.
When to return to work after motherhood
Most working mothers do not have too many options to choose when they return to their position. The maternal losses vary in each place, from mover a year in some Nordic countries until 12 weeks without remuneration from the United States or 9 from Malaysia.
Depending on the regulations, there is the option of adding the so-called "lactation days". It is about accumulating the hours of reduction of working hours to which mothers are entitled for a time to breastfeed their baby.
Many couples choose add the vacations of the mother and father in different periods to lengthen the time of stay of the baby in the home. This option is not easy to implement if there are other brothers and leaves the couple without a leisure time shared in the summer.
Who takes care of my baby when I go back to work
For many parents, theback to work routine It generates an enormous anxiety at the prospect of other people having to take care of the baby. Many parents are uneasy and no option gives them real confidence. Some marriages modify work shifts so that they can be complemented and the child is always with one of the parents.
The problem is that the perspective of the couple should not be lost sight of, that is to say, the care of the minors can not ballast the bond between father and mother who would stop spending time together.
The option of the centers of children's education It is one of the most used. The administrative controls guarantee that the children are in adequate spaces accompanied by qualified personnel at all times. But they are not cheap. To access a public center you must apply for a place at the time when registration is opened. And in many private ones it is not so simple to find a hole. The so-called 'day mothers' are becoming fashionable, women who take in a small group of children at home and take care of them in a family environment. It presents benefits but there is still no specific legislation that regulates this activity.
Parents must decide if it is more comfortable for the center to be close to their home, so that the child will not be there long enough to arrive, or close to their work, so that parents can attend in case of emergency and schedules. the prices- adjust as much as possible to the labor. In addition, a series of considerations must be taken into account before choosing. In any case, if the parents opt for a day care center, they will have to consider beforehand how they solve the unexpected, such as the possible illnesses that the child is infected with during the course.
To avoid this problem, one option is to hire a caregiver, babysitter or babysitter.It is important that someone is reliable, that the recommendations of other families are well studied and, as far as possible, that parents reserve a few days to be able to live with this person before returning to work. The positive part is that, in addition to taking care of the children, they will help with household chores and cooking. As for the cost, if there is more than one baby in the house, it may be more profitable to hire a person. There are some companies that deal with the training and management of domestic workers.
If family members are used to help with the care of children, especially grandparents, it is key that everyone define their role so that there are no misunderstandings with educational issues.Grandparents can not be asked to take care of grandchildren free of charge and, in addition, to demand the way in which they should do so. This could cause intergenerational tensions that are detrimental to family life.
The question of breastfeeding
Numerous scientific researches endorse the benefits of breastfeeding over feeding with the so-called formula milk. That is why for many mothers it is hard to start working and, at the same time, to be forced to remove the breast of babies. A system that is easily compatible with work schedules consists of introducing continuation milk in those shots in which the mother is working and maintaining the breast in the first of the morning and the last of the night. In this way, the baby is still immunized.
The mother should not be afraid of losing milk by withdrawing some of the intakes. If done correctly, the body adapts milk production to specific circumstances. In fact, the quantity and rhythm of milk production varies naturally in the first months.
If the mother is forced to travel or her schedules are changing, it will be more complicated to maintain this system. One option, if carried out with sufficient foresight, is to store frozen breast milk reserves that will thaw at room temperature as they are needed. And if none of these routes were possible, as explained by the pediatrician Pilar Alemán, from the Trafalgar Health Center in Valencia, there is no reason to feel guilty for opting for formula milk when other possibilities are not functional.
Attachment is guaranteed
No parent should think that, by not spending 24 hours a day with their child, it will generate an attachment problem. While there is no doubt that much of the bond of attachment between parents and children depends on family time sharing, it is no less true that there are many moments throughout the day when that attachment is not formed.
Sometimes it is worth calculating the real time that we have detached from a baby to relativize the return to work. If we subtract the nap in the morning and afternoon, the walk (where they would not see us in any case) and bottle-feeding, where the important thing is to ensure their food, there are not so many minutes that the working parents are absent.
In these stages it can be very useful to properly order the times so that the one dedicated to the children is 100 percent. In addition, spaces should be reserved as a family and avoid the feeling of guilt, both at work and at home, mark the quality of those moments. Calm parents will transmit much more love to their children and better support the attachment than parents with more time but more irascibles.
Alicia Gadea
