Childhood lies: what to do if you caught him lying according to his age?
Pillar our children lying or lacking the truth is a normal part of your growth and development process. It is important for parents to know what the child is capable of doing at each age and what motives can encourage him to tell lies.
Also, when our children they are caught lying You can take advantage of these moments to teach them life lessons that reflect the values of our family and that lead them towards a better behavior.
How to respond when you discover that your child is lying
But, in practice, What do you do if you caught him lying? So that one of your children's lies do not be surprised without a protocol of action, we propose some ideas to put into practice to know why he has lied and what to do to prevent it from happening again.
- Lies in babies and small children (0-3 years). These little ones do not yet have the ability to lie. In case of confusion, clarify to the child what the word in question means or what is the correct use of the language.
Then write the story in a notebook so you do not forget it, because it will probably help you to laugh together when a few years pass and you are about to finish high school.
- Lies in young children (3-5 years). These children, although they are not so small, still do not have the ability to lie. Often what they do is mix reality with an overflowing imagination. The stories they tell are a reflection of their desires or of the interpretation they make of what is happening around them.
Talk to the little one to really find out what is behind that story. If necessary, explain what the real situation is, always using vocabulary appropriate to your age.
- Lies in children (5-9 years). When you detect a small lie, it is best to go to the child and talk to him. Expose the real facts and ask him why he decided to alter them and tell a false story. Teach the child problem-solving methods so that he does not need to resort to lies. By doing this, the parents are showing the child that they do care about what is happening to them and that they want to help things go well.
- Lies in preadolescents (9-12 years). Asking for specific facts and more detailed information can be a useful method for parents to determine if their child is lacking the truth. If you suspect your child is lying, ask him or her to give you a more complete answer and add more details to the story.
Then, if it is clear that you are missing the truth, talk directly to your child about the reasons that prompted him to alter the information. In this way, parents can find out about a problem that the child may be having in school, in the neighborhood or even at home.
- Lies in adolescents - early stage (13-15 years). A good method to determine if your child is missing the truth is to ask for specific details about a given topic and then repeat the question some time later. If you suspect that you are lying, ask your teenager to "retell" what is going to happen or what has happened. It may be useful to check certain facts (eg, call other parents to check that your child was where they say they were) with your child in front and hear what they have to say about it.
At this age it is important that the adolescent have the opportunity to tell the truth. If parents show their child that they care about him and their problems and are willing to help him out, this can make the teen make better decisions and tell the truth without the need to lie first.
- Menitras in adolescents - late stage (16-19 + years). In this phase of adolescence it may be more complicated to detect the lies because the kids have a greater degree of autonomy and a greater ability to plan and improvise on the fly. When they lack the truth, they often do it to preserve their autonomy and to be able to make decisions independently.
Unfortunately, their lack of experience in life can lead to negative situations, and unfortunately many times parents find out about this lie when something negative happens. An open communication that addresses with sincerity especially thorny issues in this late stage of adolescence (eg, alcohol, drugs, sex and violence) can be useful to minimize the likelihood that your child will lie.
Talk with your child about the issues that are important to teens, and mention the values and moral principles related to these issues that you consider important. In any case, remind him that parents are available at all times to help him.
Deanna Marie Mason, expert in education and family health. Author of the blog Dr. Deanna Marie Mason. An educational approach to adaptation
It may interest you:
- 10 tips against the lies of children
- The lie, why do children lie?
- Sincerity, educating in values
- Teens, face the truth or resort to lying
