Ideas to escape from sadness at Christmas
Many people detest the Christmas holidays, so much that they even travel to other countries where the atmosphere of lights, trees and nativity scenes is diluted in a sun and beach environment. They put thousands of kilometers between them, their family, the Christmas Eve dinner and the gifts. They are those who get depressed at Christmas, those to whom these days in which happiness is celebrated make them truly unhappy.
It happens year after year. One of the reasons, according to psychologist Pilar Conde, "is that these dates make us question the most important aspects of our life: family, love, our life trajectory and happiness in general." If these aspects, he explains, are not covered, or do not know how to enhance, becomes aware of what "should feel and do not feel," leading to negative emotions.
When someone is missing at the table at Christmas
In Spain, the family is the epicenter of the celebration and missing someone at the table, especially if the absence is recent, is often a reason for sorrow, sadness and sometimes great pain. This circumstance frustrates, especially in our culture, where if mourning is saved it can be considered disrespectful to enjoy when a loved one has died, especially in the first years.
On the one hand, it provokes negative emotions, not being able to comply with the rite of happiness that this meeting in which the family celebrates, and, on the other hand, there is a fear of disrespecting the absent ones with festivities or joyful celebrations. The expert believes that a way to cushion the discomfort of the loss of our loved ones would be to honor them these days: "enjoying the company of our relatives, and even laughing, would allow us to face more positively these days. mourn for those who are not, but not isolate us, but once past this moment, try to enjoy the company and the celebration. "
No to the familiar polemics of always on Christmas Eve and New Year's EveThis positive transformation should not be marred either by family quarrels and disputes, be it political or biological. The recommendation is to sit at the table with a conciliatory attitude and ignore any attempt at controversy. We must go to these events as if there had been no previous problem. Only then can you enjoy the party.
7 tips to park sadness at Christmas
In addition, and not to choke on the food and, yes, for once, be happy as a family, at the table and at Christmas, the expert gives us these tips:
1. Leave the mobiles parked, enjoy the present moment and the people we meet.
2. Enjoy the flavors of the foods of those days, of the decoration. Look for the positive, the good, the beautiful.
3. Do not enter into conflict, when we see that a relative tries to generate controversy, not follow the game.
4. Avoid taking controversial issues such as politics.
5. If we see that we are getting tense, Go out to take the air, or go to the bathroom.
6. If we know that with certain people it is easy for us to "lose control", control the consumption of alcohol.
7. Before going to those difficult meals, think what can go wrong and think how we want to manage it, so as not to end up in conflict.
In short, live the here and now, taking advantage of the good that gives us the moment.
Pilar Conde Technical Director of Clínicas Origen