The mistake of helping children when they do not need it

I'm looking for some sneakers for a nine-year-old daughter of mine. The only rainy day that we have enjoyed in Madrid since times that I do not even remember made us realize that they have a tremendous hole that the cobbler does not feel capable of solving. Total, that I try a good time to walk with her the linear of a store. And what is my surprise to discover that it is easier to take a Velcro slippers, which have close to paste, than some laces.

I say surprise because I'm surprised that some manufacturer thinks that a girl of nine years, able to study the organs that make up the respiratory system or the fifty provinces of Spain with its two autonomous cities, do not know, or may not know, tie the shoelaces of the shoe.


Increase my surprise to see that there are velcro shoes up to size 38, which is equivalent to a 6 in American size, a boy or a girl who already passes widely 1.60m. And the truth, I get a certain blush to think of a bicharraco of such height that I still do not know how to knot and loop and that, however, be able to install the video game console in the correct HDMI. Because the knot and the loop is infinitely simpler, I assure you.

Of course, if you do not know how to tie your shoes it can be for two reasons. The first, that nobody has taught them. In this case, what doubt is that the fault lies with the parents, dedicated to teaching or facilitating the learning of hundreds of little daily knowledge, such as Mandarin Chinese, but little aware of the limitations of our children in everyday life.


The second reason is also the fault of the parents: our children do not tie their shoelaces for the simple reason that someone does it for them. They have never had the need to learn. And since we do not know how to break that stupid link of laces, we buy shoes with Velcro.

I was thinking about the Velcro on Friday afternoon when I checked, not without astonishment, a terrifying scene in the schoolyard. Sitting in the stands surrounding the football and basketball courts, a very large group of children stretched their little legs with the little foot covered in a sports stocking in a comical pose that reminded me enormously of the Cinderella stepsisters while trying on the shoe of Cristal. The self-denying fathers, like the King's lackeys, knee to the ground, were wearing soccer and basketball shoes on their over-sized feet. Well done, there you have it: guys capable of demanding brand new sports, but unable to tie them.



I could not help but remember a phrase I've heard many times from a mother of a large family who, although she could have tied every bond of her children, preferred to teach them to do it: "All unnecessary help impoverishes whoever receives it".


If you are a Velcro and knee on the ground, do not be overwhelmed, "it's never too late if the happiness is good." As soon as you teach your children how to tie their shoes, you will notice how their lumbar pain improves, while the self-esteem of their offspring grows in an unsuspected way, to those who do not receive the help they did not need.

It may interest you:

- 8 keys for children to be autonomous

- Children prefer mothers who respect their autonomy

- These are the types of footwear that can cause injuries

- The autonomy of children, their secrets and objectives

Video: 7 Parenting Tips to Deal With a Naughty Child


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