Reinforce the authority of the father to end the tyranny of the son
The hierarchy must be respected within the home. Although there must be a climate of dialogue where everyone can express their opinion, parents are the heads of the family and they must always be the last word. However, in some cases the figure of parental authority is diluted in this nucleus, giving rise to a situation in which children become "tyrants".
On this matter it has been spoken in the Congress of the Spanish Society of Out-of-Home Pediatrics and Primary Care. An event where it has been made clear that the limits must be present in each home to reinforce the authority of the parents in order to end this attitude in the smallest. A whole call for attention to families to stop extreme cases where it ends up leading to cases of abuse.
Hierarchical system in the family
Aurora Gil, a psychologist participating in this congress, explains that although the family is an environment of dialogue and understanding, it is not a fully democratic system, but a hierarchical nucleus. Parents impose standards and children must respect them, when the opposite happens, or consent is given. disobedience, the child is being told that nothing happens if he behaves badly.
In this way, the child will continue acting in this way, and there will come a time when the youngest Do not be afraid when confronting their parents and even trying to impose their judgment over that of others. Something that also leads to a low tolerance for frustration, so they are likely to respond violently with aggressions to those who oppose them.
At this point, Gil also highlights overprotection as a way to lose authority. In order to avoid evils, many parents allow their children to avoid responsibilities and situations that may cause their anger. Bad decision since what is transmitted to the child is that he can not worry because his parents will be the ones who solve everything.
Impose limits on children
As it has been said in this congress, the imposition of limits and norms is something necessary in the upbringing of children. Here are some tips to introduce them in the day to day:
- Objectivity It is true that parents are the highest authority and that they impose standards. But before setting a limit, you have to think whether you are really going to contribute something or its purpose is simply going to be coercive.
- Firmness. If parents give in, children learn that if they act in a certain way they can get away with it. If a rule is decided, it must be firm in its compliance.
- Consequences. Children surely do not always comply with the rules, so we must establish a system of punishments that are translated as consequences that will invite them not to repeat more in that attitude.
- Reinforce the positive. As when rules are broken, there are consequences, when acting according to them there must also be consequences. In this way, positive behavior will be reinforced in the youngest ones.
- Control emotions. It's about enforcing standards, not unnecessarily scaring children. When this behaves badly, we must act firmly, not exploiting in a sea of emotions that can make children believe that their parents hate them.
Damián Montero
