First-time grandparents, how to assimilate the situation?
There comes a time in life when the family grows in other ways. The children have become adults, they have fallen in love and created their own home. It is in these situations when those who were once parents, become grandparents, a situation that like any change in life can suppose certain vertigo. What does this role imply within the family?
What is the difference between being parents and being grandparents? Given the possible uncertainties of being a first-timer in this new role, the American Association of Retired Persons, AARP, has developed a guide to guide people who are opening in this new role. A way to accompany in this change that shows that in life it is never too late to learn.
Transmit love
What does a grandfather do? AARP makes clear, the mission of this person in the family is the same as has been given to date: enjoy the happiness that transmits the home. Your role will remain the same as the role you played, the help to their children, although now it must be otherwise. If in the past they were educated for other purposes, now they have to act as counselors.
Just as grandparents are new, the grandchild's parents will be too. What better than to offer all the knowledge gained over the years? Without imposing the criteria and respecting the decisions of the progenitors, always have to be willing to pick up the phone to answer possible questions since it is very possible that these problems were solved by the grandparents in the past, although with their own children.
From this Association it is remembered that grandparents do not have to be parents of their grandchildren. We must give the opportunity to be the parents of these who learn what this role means. There is a big difference between being support for to be the fundamental piece in this development. This responsibility corresponds to their children, who now assume the witness.
The keys of good grandfather
These are some keys that will help grandparents to adapt to this new situation in life:
- Be clear to what extent they can help. Do not compromise by making excesses either by meddling in education or taking on more responsibilities than you owe.
- Remember that the forces are not the same. You do not have the same impetus as before when you left father, so you have to respect yourself in this regard.
- If you have to take care of the grandchildren and there are difficulties, talk about it when the children are not there, looking for solutions, but never questioning the criteria of the parents: the child does not want to eat a certain food, when to go to the doctor, etc.
- Discover the satisfaction of being able to help your children in the task of educating their grandchildren.
- Knowing that in the end it does not matter so much the recognition, as the residue of love and trust that they leave in their grandchildren, that is priceless and irreplaceable.
- If there are several children that require the care of the grandchildren, look for the most appropriate and balanced situation.
Damián Montero
