Lack of tenderness in childhood, little empathy in adulthood

The future is not known, but it can be intuited from the present. The adult in which a person becomes begins to build from the childhood stage from the values ​​and customs that are seen in the day to day. A father can never avoid his exemplary role in children so that tomorrow they can become excellent individuals.

This is explained from the Official College of Psychologists of Catalonia, who remember the importance of emotional education in childhood. Therefore, the experts of this center are committed to promoting the bond between parents and children by dedicating tenderness and affect so that they benefit from these attitudes in the future.


Emotional distancing

The experts explain the bad influence that affective separation has on children and their influence on their development. The affectivity it is defined as a bond that strengthens with time and finally is integrated into the psychic structure of the person. This link is lost as parents do not spend time with their children and leave these to the care of other people.

The lack of this tenderness on the part of the parents usually translates into an anxiety in response to a danger: the absence of a figure protective. On the contrary, the constant presence of the parents causes the child to retain in his memory the emotional bonds of the parents and feel their support, finding a guide on which to lean when they feel bad.


At this point it is worth noting the importance for the children of finding this support and tenderness. This is the first case to strengthen empathy as an important value in your life, since in this way you will learn that just as they receive this help, they can also lend it to other people.

How to connect with children

Given the importance it has for the future of the children, consolidate the link Between parents and children, here are some tips to connect with the little ones:

- Effective communication is one of the keys to improving the connection with children. We must not forget that one of the most important parts of communication is listening. Often, adults just talk and hardly listen to them. It is very important that communication follows this double track and that children feel heard. In this way we show them that their opinion matters to us and we move away from the role of authoritarian figure who limits himself to imposing norms. It is not about letting them talk, but about listening to them and paying attention to what they tell us.


- Be interested in your things. If you want to connect with them, it is very important that you pay attention to their interests, that you understand how important they are to them. Respecting those interests and sharing them with them will somehow help us to improve our connection with them.

- Share your interests with them. Often, we take children away from our passions and hobbies. It is not a question of forcing them to create common spaces for the connection. Try to share your interests with them, you will create very special moments of bond.

- Respect their space and understand that they do not always want to be with you. Do not use guilt to force them to be or do things with you.

Damián Montero

Video: Abandonment Issues--Childhood Emotional Neglect--and Adult Loneliness


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