Try everything, the secret to overcome a couple crisis
"We have been estranged for a long time, the relationship has deteriorated so much that I do not see it possible for anyone to help us, I have lost hope of being happy at their side."
This inner situation of despair occurs whenever we have experienced a long and hard personal crisis and couple. How is it not going to be like this! Do not be embarrassed by despair.
We receive many couples in which one of the two does not believe in the therapies and they come because the other is begging or begging. Ignorance about their development leads to prejudging what will be unleashed if we open our privacy.
When a marriage seriously thinks that the only solution to its pain is separation, there is a common denominator:
1. Associate the other person and the interaction with her as a source of suffering, of the want to free herself. "Dead the dog, the rabies is gone".
2. Huge personal attrition occurs as a result of:
- A harsh treatment, which dries the soul and robs the joy.
- From the lack of intimacy, which leads to shrinkage and the search for a person to trust.
- Of the rush, that do not allow to look at the face, contemplate, take care of the other.
- Overwork and poor rest, which leads to irritability.
- State of anxiety and anguish, as a result of the tension generated by the deteriorated relationship.
- The inability to solve the continuous conflicts of couple.
3. Dream of a happy life, quiet, without reproaches, without tensions. Usually assess loneliness for a while.
4. There is an immense pain that blocks cognitive thinking and disables for possible solutions that improve the situation of emotional imbalance.
5. If they have children, they believe they will be better off without seeing their parents arguing and they will take care of their welfare separately. The children do not usually say the same thing.
In the hospital life we see how the patients put all the means to improve. They trust the professional, attend appointments punctually and pay attention to what they are advised during their recovery. Sometimes the disease is serious and there is little hope, but if the tumor is in the head they do not cut it! They are informed and armed with patience and willingness to heal.
What happens to us in conjugal life when the other's way of being appears with all its harshness, fruit of limitations and defects, when life begins to be sad and hard, which even leads to illness.
We are not able to inform ourselves seriously about how to cure a disease that affects the depths of our lives? The professionals know how to handle the secrecy of office, receiving individually the people so that the joint sessions only run at opportune moments and being already both ready to correct attitudes and recognize errors.
What is the reason why, in personal problems, we cut to the bone, instead of looking for a therapy that relieves them? It may take a large dose of willingness to try "everything" before throwing in the towel. In the case of separations, when the dog died, did the rabies end? If that is not the case, let's try everything!
