We have couple problems, why are they slow to solve?
When the problems of coexistence appear in the first years of marriage, we have two possibilities. The first and natural is usually to be scared, to despair, to think that everything will go badly and even sadden a lot. The second option is to analyze what is happening, having the certainty that it is normal to have difficulties.
Normally the problems get bigger and take longer to be solved because:
1. We have the bad habit of blame the other of everything that is not going well. We are not able to look inward and look for the causes within ourselves.
2. We see very clearly what we miss. We are not able to see what the other yearns for.
3. We are blind with defects, the limitations and the different ways of doing things. We are not able to respect the other's ways. We lock ourselves in, without expressing with care what hurts us or what happens to us, without blaming. The enclosure produces anger, isolation and prevents even more from seeing the good things, the efforts. The other one goes away before the bewilderment. If the temperament is primary, jump quickly, get angry, say everything that comes to mind and then repents. If it is secondary, it is silent, sometimes it holds a grudge and moves emotionally away from the other in response.
4. Another big mistake is to tell someone about the family what's happening. They listen to only one version and they make us unable to see things as the other sees them.
5. One of the reasons why couple problems are not solved is usually becauseYoung people are under a lot of pressure. The work hours are many, the salaries are low and they force both of them to work, rest time is scarce as well and sparks fly. You have to try to balance with common sense the hours of work and rest and have fun together. It is much more important than marriages believe.
6. Problems are slow to resolve there is no willingness to downplay things, pass page soon and when we have already got a good atmosphere, then we can talk about what happens. We can not always express the difficulties when we really would like to. We must count on the provisions of the other. It is more effective to let a little time pass and have the self-control to master the desire to clarify things.
Negative events are temporary, modifiable and localized. At the end of the holidays it is important to keep in mind that we need a period of adaptation.
Gratitude can make life very happy. Being aware of what rests and entertains us or gives us peace allows us to always look for it as a remedy for any difficulty.
