What happens when they have everything, except their parents

At present, there are numerous responsibilities derived from the multiple areas that make up work and family life. Of course, to have a "full life" we have to be efficient workers and workers, good colleagues and co-workers, a couple that caters to all the needs of the other, apart from our own needs, and be exemplary fathers and mothers offering them everything the time of the world to our children.

Put like that, it seems easy, but in practice it is the opposite. What are the consequences of this "lack of time" in the development of our children ...? How does it affect the relationship between parents and children? More quality of time or more quantity? What types of measures can we apply to solve this situation?


To spend time with the children it is essential to organize well

It is important to note that what will positively affect children is the quality of time that adults spend with them and not "how much" time is spent with them. We can invest many hours, day after day with our children, but we can use it for other activities of our own, while the child plays a videogame for hours.

On the other hand, we can invest specific hours with our children where we share games of all kinds with them, encouraging learning, development, affection and trust. For this type of involvement, the organization is key.

They have everything ... except their parents

In an article written by Joaquina Pedres, published by "El País" in 2011, it was directly reflected: They have everything, except their parents. In this way, the author dictated how many children have successful parents, comfortable homes, absolute disposition to technology, money for endless caprices, but they lack the essential: their parents.


The author also reflects in his words the consequences of this lack of time between parents and children: "Urban adolescents from middle and upper middle class families begin to fill the queries of psychologists and social pediatricians afflicted with the evil of loneliness. grown almost on their own, by caregivers outside the family, and their parents, busy full time in maintaining social status, lack the time they demand.The consequences are often perverse: behavior disorders, aggressiveness, constant confrontations with parents ... And also a worrying trend of isolation, so much so that some adolescents have already begun to be cataloged at risk and sent temporarily to apartments under the administration's guardianship ".

As we have been able to observe, the lack of quality time of their parents made them generate diverse consequences both in their physical and psychological development, becoming adolescents and young people with low capacity to tolerate frustration, use of violent behavior to achieve their objectives, and problems of adaptation in other areas such as work in the couple.


Benefits of investing quality time in children

However, the benefits that can be obtained after investing quality time in our children are numerous:

1. It favors the evolutionary process of children in different levels: biological, social, intellectual, affective-sexual.
2. Help parents and children get to know each other facilitating learning among themselves.
3. Power family environment favoring communication: ease to resolve conflicts that may arise.
4. Strengthen the father-daughter relationship: the children feel heard, loved and accepted, enhancing their self-esteem.
5. It helps to release stress and tension. Having fun together and doing activities in a way that we can enjoy them helps us all to release tension.
6. Increase confidence, security and self-esteem. Children feel loved and safe.
7. Social skills are developed, since it is a time in which the little ones are related.

Keys to make good use of time with children

However, despite the benefits of investing quality time with our children, it is difficult to find the right way to take the maximum possible time in an optimal way. Therefore, in what way can we act to ensure that the time we spend with our children is fruitful?

1. It is important to involve them in our daily activities, while we explain them for what we do and how we do them. This way we will achieve that the minor feels a participant, besides satisfying his exploration needs.
2. The organization is fundamental to be able to share time with them. For this, establishing schedules can help us find "spaces" where our priority is to enjoy them without pressure.
3. Communication between parents and children it becomes an essential element for parent-child relationships.Many times, asking how you have done at school, or asking about your concerns, influences that quality time.
4. It is not necessary to look for special activities. On many occasions, the fact of telling a story or playing with them, is for them something very special and valuable.

As in any human relationship, the dedication of a quality time is fundamental to generate effective links. For this reason, it is so important that from an early age, they experience the importance of emotional involvement on the part of their parents. It's all about time.

Ángel Bernal Caravaca. Psychologist and mediator. Cofounder of Lomber Soluciones Cyberbullying

Video: I Don't Like My Parents Because They Don't Accept Who I Am


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