Singleness imposed: why do not I have a partner?

Many people have difficulties finding a partner and others to keep it. This situation generates great frustration in people, and for this reason, find an answer to the question Why do not I have a partner?, has become one of the most sought after issues on the Internet.

Finding someone with whom to share love is the desire of many men and women, of different ages, backgrounds, races and nationalities and when love does not come, this question becomes a question whose answer needs the help of relatives, and Above all, the neutral and expert opinion of a professional.

Pilar Conde, technical director of Clínicas Origen, explains that "it is true that in consultation this question is asked aloud, but with many nuances, as many as clients enter the offices of these psychology centers."

Singleness imposed

It's different to be without a partner when you want it when you can not. In this second case, "there is a common state of sadness, isolation and even depression associated with this imposed bachelorhood.In many studies of psychological disorders, having a partner has always been associated as a protective factor. that relate the couple's relationship and the formation of a family with a life project, if, finally, he or she considers that their sentimental loneliness it is due to factors directly related to his characteristics of his person that are unmodifiable, such as the physical, his personality or his intellect, these individuals become vulnerable to depression, "explains psychologist Pilar Conde.

The situation may worsen, adds the psychologist, "with a decline and even the loss of self-esteem, which leads to consider those" singles by force "that things will not change or, at least, they can not to do nothing to change them, in this way they abandon the search for a partner and, therefore, the possibility of finding it ".

In this sense, methods and ways have changed a lot since the irruption of the digital world and social networks as communication vehicles. The traditional way of linking, to establish the first contact, has been modified and now young people are often known in social networks. First they "spy", they investigate themselves, they look at Instagram, or Facebook, and if what they see like, they proceed later to stay.

For Pilar Conde, "it is not so much how the couple is accessed, but rather the way in which that relationship is established and based on what it is consolidated in. It is usual to receive in consultation people who have difficulties not only to find a partner but also to some who lack tools to manage relationships. "

Without a partner, a problem of age or personality?

Therefore, the problem of not finding a partner does not seem to be an age problem, since the older ones accumulate experiences, in some cases negative, that make them reluctant to live as a couple. Young people, on the other hand, lack social and emotional skills and often feel insecure.

It is, therefore, a matter of personality. And here, "Yes, we could, with prudence, generalize: narcissists, histrionics, avoiders and people with distrustful traits have more trouble finding a stable partner," says Pilar Conde.

Advice to leave the solteria

Pilar Conde recommends the following tips to find and keep the couple:

1. Feel happy with yourself. Before you find a partner and start a serious relationship you should be fine.

2. Love yourself and accept yourself as you are. Put the focus on improving what is important to you.

3. Respect the life you wanted to have before meeting your partner, your friends, family, leisure, hobbies and expectations.

4. Defend and respect your personal rights, as well as defend and respect the rights of your partner.

5. That a person decides to be with us It does not depend only on what we do or how we do, so we do not do more than what really defines us.

6. Do not be afraid that someone does not want to be with you. We can not like everyone, but if we want to find someone, we have to take actions that lead us towards that goal. So when you meet someone, adjust expectations, especially with time and what it will mean if the relationship does not develop as we wanted.

Marisol Nuevo Espín
Advice: Pilar Conde. Technical Director of Clínicas Origen

It may interest you:

- Genetics and their influence when finding a partner

- Romantic gestures for day to day

- The language of love as a couple

- 10 tips to live a good courtship

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