Burnt father syndrome, how to prevent fatherhood from overcoming you

Who said being a father or mother was simple? True, it is one of the activities that most comfort a person even if they do not have economic retribution. But in some cases this difficulty may end up overwhelm to people, who are overcome by the care of their children giving rise to the syndrome of Father Quemado, a concept that refers to the parent who does not face his role well.

This term is born from Burnout syndrome, which was coined by the psychiatrist Herbert Freudenberger to refer to people who go through a gradual process by which they lose interest in their work, the sense of responsibility and may even reach deep depressions. In the case of parents, this work corresponds to that of the watch out of their children.


Stages of the syndrome

This syndrome is not born overnight. It goes through several stages that are worsening the situation of the person who suffers:

- Emotional fatigue. It is about the origin of this syndrome and is manifested by a growing sense of exhaustion in the work, in the case of parents caring for their children. This emotional state causes a feeling of hopelessness that ends up dehumanizing relationships with family members, blaming others for their frustrations and diminishing their commitment to them.

- Depersonalization. Emotional fatigue translates into a lack of initiative. Individuals tend to absent themselves from their father's work or perform these tasks with reluctance. Everything that has to do with their children is treated with a pessimistic and negative tone, which is adopted by the subject and which arise to protect themselves from exhaustion. This stage not only affects the people who suffer it, but also those who begin to mistreat.


- The lack of personal fulfillment. Parents feel that the demands of their children exceed their capacity, they are dissatisfied with their situation and live with a feeling of helplessness.

Others symptom They may reveal the syndrome of the burned father are: fatigue, fluctuations of mood, disappointment, isolation, apathy and loss of interest, sleep disturbances, irritability, frequent headaches and back, digestive disorders and stress.

Treatment of the syndrome

The treatment of the syndrome of the burned father is very important since this situation can suppose the drop in a depression that ends up causing a very negative environment in the home. Here are some tips to overcome it:


- Find incentives. Parents can make small changes that can make finding their child's care less stressful. An example is to take more walks with them and try to find the link with them.

- Be realistic. No one is perfect and there will be times when the child gets hurt or falls ill, or simply can not meet a need. You have to be realistic and not be overwhelmed by these moments.

- Escape the routine. Did child care take over? Well then maybe it's time to escape from the routine, a small trip, a visit to the zoo, anything that helps to get out of the routine.

- Empathy. We must remember that in a home there are more people who are willing to help us. But you should not pay for this frustration with them, but remember how much they can collaborate.

- Do not be afraid to ask for help. It is not necessary to feel guilty if in some occasions help is requested from the grandparents to take care of the children or the couple to cope with the situation. A family must support itself and these aids will never be denied.

Damián Montero

Video: Jordan Peterson - Growing Up in a Fatherless Home


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