The order of birth could explain the different personalities between brothers

A family is heterogeneous, all members of it have their own personality. An example are the children, each of the smallest has its own procedure and a unique way of behaving. Despite having received the same education from parents, go to the same school and receive the same values, have different characters.

Why do these personality changes occur between children? Kevin Leman, author of The Birth Order Book, emphasizes that the birth order of children has a very unique influence on the development of the youngest members of the household. Being the oldest, the medium or the smallest has significant effects in the way of facing the lives of children at home.

Authority of the Major

First, this author talks about the personality of the firstborn, who become an extension of the leadership from his parents. They have a tendency to take control and have a lot of self-esteem. Leman associates this confidence in the absence of older siblings to make fun of them when they learn to tie their shoes or ride a bicycle.

In family life, this translates into a mediation in conflicts of parents with younger siblings and in some cases in the transformation of older children into a kind of 'police' of the home that ensures that the little ones comply with the rules of coexistence. For this reason, parents are advised not to allow this leadership to become a tyranny where parental leadership is shaken by the firstborn.

Undefinition of the medium

If the older person usually presents a leadership personality, the middle children do not have a well defined profile. Leman says that in these cases children born after the first fill the gap left by their predecessors. If these behave as an extension of parental leadership, the middlemen will be more rebellious and will oppose the rules of the parents.

Of course, Leman says they tend to be the most independent. After them arrive young children, which means the loss of attention from their parents. This situation of being between the eldest and the eldest makes them look for this affection, which they believe they lack, in their friend circle.

For this reason, it is recommended parents do not forget about them when the little ones arrive. One technique that this author advises is to involve them in the care of young children and to participate in activities with the firstborn so that they strengthen the concept of family and do not feel excluded from the home.

The tranquility with the minor

Finally Leman points out that in the case of the child, these children are usually the calmest, most affectionate and sociable of all. Parents do not usually put so many limits in these cases, they reach this stage after having educated others and they do not get as nervous as when the firstborn arrived and they had no experience in fatherhood.

This leads to their being given more confidence and allowed to act more at your leisure. Although, however, this does not necessarily translate into greater self-esteem. Seeing the largest and strongest firstborn, they feel in a disadvantaged position, so their personal vision will always be compared to those who were born ahead. This leads them to seek approval in other ways, such as claiming attention by making mischief or trying to be funny constantly.

Damián Montero


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