How to prepare children to stay alone
The ANAR Foundation receives more than one million calls from minors who have no parents next to them to help them with a problem. They are known as "key children", those who stay at home alone without the care of an adult. If you have no choice but to leave your child alone, it is important that you prepare it so that you know how to face any eventuality. For this, you will have to dedicate time - for example, on weekends - and often remind you of certain rules that you should not fail to comply with.
You should know what to do and who to call in case of emergency. How to contact you at all hours. Know the names and phone numbers of other trusted adults. Specifically, you should be familiar with the use of the 112 emergency telephone.
Know what will happen. How long will he be alone? Where are you going to be and why? Give him confidence and security, and tell him that you believe in him.
Set some rules for when you stay alone
1. That you know what is not allowed when you are away and leave a list of tasks or assignments to be occupied.
2. You must call him on the phone to see how everything is going.
3. We must insist that he not be entertained on the way back home.
4. You should know when and how you should answer the phone or the doorbell.
5. You must abide by the rules of use of the telephone, whose use must be limited.
6. What friends or visitors can enter at home.
7. It is necessary to fix the responsibilities on the brothers.
8. You have to know what rules you have to comply with in relation to free time and the use of television, videos, consoles, etc.
9. You must have limited access to television channels for adults and have an Internet filter.
10. You have to talk to him when you return home and share your feelings.
Alternatives before leaving you alone
Before considering leaving a child alone at home we must reflect on other alternatives, even if they involve a greater effort of organization or resignation. If it were possible, we have to shuffle from changing jobs, to request a reduction in working hours. We can also try to negotiate schedules with the company, rely on family members, hire a student -it is cheaper- to accompany him for a few hours and help him perform his tasks; everything is preferable before leaving them alone.
There are some day centers that cater to children in these circumstances. We can also investigate if public libraries near home or at school organize specific attention programs for Combat the problem of "key children". Also, there are public parks that have recreation and sports programs aimed at these children. Telephone companies have proliferated with sophisticated systems of calls to house to verify if the children are well and to warn the parents in case these have some problem.
The most important thing is to be aware that the best gift a father or mother can give their children is their time. We can not afford to have a wrong scale of priorities, which damages them and consequently harms society.
To take into account ... in case of leaving children alone
Each child matures at a different rate but, generally, it is better to wait until adolescence to leave them alone, since they must have enough sense of responsibility to be left alone for limited periods of time.
Staying alone at home can be frightening and is a potentially dangerous situation for many children and teenagers. For example, there are more insecure children who let their imagination fly in the face of any noise and may suffer an anxiety crisis or be unable to concentrate for the study when they are watching everything. Others, however, can take advantage to connect to the Internet without control, with the risks that derive from contacting "with false identities" who pretend to be children of their age.
Remember that it is not the same to leave our children alone for a short time or even an afternoon having prepared them properly for it, than to leave them usually alone for long periods.
In addition to age and maturity, the child must have certain skills and abilities to be able to stay alone at home, minimizing the risks.
It gives good results test possible situations of danger and teach the child how to react to them. For example, "if your brother takes a lighter and sets the quilts on fire, what would you do?" And to do it as if it were a simulacrum.
It is important to remember that you can never say that you are alone to whom you call by phone, or if you connect to the internet.
We can not abuse. Not even a mature and responsible child should stay alone at home very often. If you have to be out every afternoon, you can organize and review with your child every Sunday a concrete plan for each day, with goals that on your return you will examine together to praise or correct if necessary.
Maria Lucea
Advisor: Miryam Peña. Degree in Pedagogy. Family Counselor
