The tension: what drives us crazy and how to compensate
We use the word twitching to define states of irritation, anger or anger that we feel when we are nervous, tense, when something happens to us that we did not expect, that we do not like, etc. In these cases, our entire nervous system is disturbed by tension.
At some point in our lives we have all lived situations of tension that have taken us to the limit, that have caused us to lose the papers, that we scream, insult even we may hit objects. This happens when a situation drives us crazy and it causes us to get angry with our children, our partner, with friends, with work, even with life.
The tension we feel when something takes us out of our boxes it is an emotion that together with the physiological changes that take place in our body, it is warning us that something is happening that does not seem good to us, with what we do not agree and that we should not allow.
The tension: what things get us out of control?
We must bear in mind that when those states of alteration appear, of excessive anger that takes us out of our boxes, it is because our defense mechanism has been set in motion, this is activated in different circumstances.
1. When we perceive that our needs are not being met, These needs can be basic, such as being hungry or sleepy, needs for relationships such as attention, love, identity, respect, self-affirmation, security, etc. Not having our needs met causes us discomfort, makes us feel threatened and causes us to react to defend and try to satisfy them at any price.
2. When we can not control the situation and even some person, we feel powerless, we feel that we are not capable of influencing reality or others as we would like and this frustrates us, irritates us and can lead us to the outbreak.
3. When things are not as we would like them, When we do not accept that things are the way they are, we feel disappointed, and that directly connects with anger and anger, causing us to attack the situation.
4. When we repress what we feel, our emotions and thoughts. If we do not express what bothers us and keep it, as we go through similar situations we will accumulate resentment, which will finally end up making us explode.
How can we compensate for the tension?
Although anger is a basic and adaptive emotion, if it appears very frequently, very intensely and lasts a long time it can have very harmful effects on us and our environment, therefore, here are some tips to compensate the states of tension .
1. Understand why we get angry. Discover what situations, what people are the ones that arouse our anger, for this you can ask yourself: What makes you like this? What I need?
2. Express what we feel and what we think, but with assertiveness, No need to offend the one in front of us.
3. Accept that we do not have control of everything. We only have the power to change ourselves and how we react to different situations, but we can not change others.
4. Empathize. Learn to put yourself in the place of the other to understand what it is that led him to behave in that way. Understanding helps us to be more tolerant.
Rocío Navarro Psychologist Director of Psicolari, integral psychology
