Because I say it and point

I am afraid, dear readers, that today I am politically incorrect. Warning so that no one is deceived because, as my mother would say "He who warns is not a traitor". He told us this long after various admonitions for bad behavior that accompanied a nice phrase that, I recognize, took years to understand:

"You are raffling a scuffle and you have all the ballots ". The guantazo did not arrive because it was enough the angry tone of voice to redirect the behaviors to its course. And later, when I understood the raffle and the ballots, I even liked it.

The truth is that once educated a lot-I do not know if well but I suspect better than now-with the "Because I say it, period". And then came this very progressive and very democratic fashion of discussing everything with the children and winning them in a test of rhetoric in each fight - and they are not few - in the day to day. I have already said on several occasions that I do not see democracy in families. We have four children and my husband and I would be in clear minority before debates of luck: healthy green spinach pureito or greasy pizza with cheese?

He was attending the other day from the comfortable distance to one of those "modern-mothers-of-understanding" speeches. Typical scene of "primípara añosa" with a single son who was polished and who had already passed the rice of good education and with nine years was a respondent, one of those that generates bad atmosphere in the group of friends in which he is . In my grandmother's generation she would have exclaimed: "a couple of good dice" and some tertiary grandfather: "with an open hand". But I already understand that today saying this is ugly. Although we think about it.

The boy had done badly wrong and the mother tried to explain the reasons for his sadness, not angry. And I say, does the mother really think that the nine-year-old child who is falling 'the octopus' cares the smallest pepper how your mother feels? But if he is being subjected to the most astonishing of reprimands! The child cares to be victorious. It is in our nature: we take the slightest criticism as an amendment to the totality and remove the heavy artillery by any minute.

There is still another problem in the mother's argument. Do you really think that your son cares about the whole movie that she has put in her head with her bad behavior? Children and adolescents have a hard time seeing the concept of time as adults understand it and are terribly limited in understanding the long-term consequences of their actions.

That's why they swell candies one day and they run out of the next, spend their pay as they fall into their hands, even though they do not want anything and have trouble studying for a test that has not yet a date. So it is comic and ridiculous to think that the child we are trying to explain that he has to finish his math homework is associated with the need to "to be someone in life". He does not manage to focus his attention on the duties of that afternoon, much less will he visualize his passage to Secondary, to Baccalaureate, to the University, to a job * And of course, he does not look like a 'nini' unemployed for life cannon fodder for a chapter of "Big Brother".

What's the "Because I say it, period", can not be used as the only measure of an authoritarian education model.

But it is not bad that is used as an effective way to define the rules of the game and establish who signs them. In the end, in a football match, no matter how much there is a debate about whether or not there was a penalty, who makes the decision is the guy with the whistle and that leaves us all alone because someone orders our lives.

And the key is that we can not forget that we are not here to please our children, to justify our actions, share or accept them, but to make them morally good adults capable of making the world a place a bit better. Why? Because I say so, period ;-)

- The key to children's obedience

- How to teach to obey children

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