Keys to connect with your children
Every affective bond between people is based on an emotional connection between these two people. The connection between parents and their children is very strong in the first months and years of life, but as the child grows and gains autonomy, part of that connection may be lost.
Connect with the children It is essential for the climate and family relationships and constitutes a basis for their healthy development. Although it can sometimes seem complicated and becomes a real challenge, there are some keys to connect with children.
Connecting with children, a daily challenge
Getting connected with the children is very important to establish a climate of trust and dialogue in the family. The connection is the basis on which respectful and affectionate family relationships are sustained, which give rise to an efficient, healthy and coherent educational style based on love and respect.
Why is it sometimes difficult to connect with children?
As they grow and gain autonomy the connection can get complicated. This happens because of the type of roles we assume as parents, because when adults impose discipline, they may collide with children who want to gain autonomy.
As they grow up, children gain autonomy, develop their own personality and need to be independent. In this process it is normal that they rebel against certain norms imposed by adults and that they seek to get away from the advice or guidelines given by their parents.
They are trying to reaffirm their identity and develop their own self, far from the paternal and maternal shelter. This often translates into a struggle in which the child tests limits and the adult tries to impose discipline and often a conflict takes place that makes a dent in the connection between adults and children.
The keys to connect with children
It is true that in certain moments connecting with children can be a challenge, but knowing why that connection fails gives us the keys to connect with them. It is very important not to interfere in the development of your personality and give them space to reaffirm their identity:
- Effective communication it is one of the keys to improving the connection with children. We must not forget that one of the most important parts of communication is listening. Often, adults just talk and hardly listen to them. It is very important that communication follows this double track and that children feel heard. In this way we show them that their opinion matters to us and we move away from the role of authoritarian figure who limits himself to imposing norms. It is not about letting them talk, but about listening to them and paying attention to what they tell us.
- Be interested in your things. If you want to connect with them, it is very important that you pay attention to their interests, that you understand how important they are to them. Respecting those interests and sharing them with them will somehow help us to improve our connection with them.
- Share your interests with them. Often, we take children away from our passions and hobbies. It is not a question of forcing them to create common spaces for the connection. Try to share your interests with them, you will create very special moments of bond.
- Respect your space and understand that they do not always want to be with you. Do not use guilt to force them to be or do things with you.
Celia Rodríguez Ruiz. Clinical health psychologist. Specialist in pedagogy and child and youth psychology. Director of Educa and Learn. Author of the collection Stimulate Reading and Writing Processes.
