Love in adolescence: will you be in love?
When our children face the love in adolescence, to the parents, as is logical, we have frequent doubts and fears: who is it? Who is your family? What education have you received? Will you be treated well? The fear that someone enters the lives of our children and turn that relationship into something harmful, toxic, is immense, and it is not surprising, due to social values that are unfortunately in crisis in our society today.
What is love and what happens when it arrives?
The love It is known as one of the most fundamental human emotions. However, even if it is one more of the primary emotions that the human being possesses, it is very likely that it is the strongest of them all. It is a feeling of intense emotional and sexual attraction towards a person with whom one wishes to share a life in common.
When we talk about love, we usually refer to romantic love although there are other types of love. There is filial love, between parents and children; the fraternal one, between brothers although very frequently it is very similar to the love that feels for some friends; and friendship itself.
We must not forget that love is a vital experience as intense as complex, and that it must be surrounded by values and principles so that it is fruitful and lasting. The perspective of love in young people is not the same as in adulthood, due to the process of physical and emotional change that young people go through in that stage of life.
Romantic love, typical of adolescence
Young people understand for love, romantic love, that we discovered in adolescence. It is also frequent that the feeling of friendship appears at this stage of life. But what we all remember from our first years of youth is usually the discovery of romantic love.
Characteristics of romantic love
Attraction. Not understood in its sexual term, but from a more personal point of view, of how that person is, what beliefs, values, behavior and feelings manifest and that I find attractive.
Intimacy or attachmentIt is the connection that develops towards the person who is the object of romantic love. In relationships of romantic love, there is an intimacy between the unique and irreplaceable people. Two people in a romantic relationship will share thoughts and feelings that they will not share with anyone else.
Commitment. You can not understand a relationship without commitment by both parties, the commitment is what gives truth and respect to ourselves and our feelings, so without him any relationship will be meaningless and will end. The emotional consequences that a relationship lacking in a commitment can cause can be characteristics of great emotional instability. Without commitment, the relationship ends up being abandoned by the two participants and ends up dying, "like a flower that is left to water."
Will he have fallen in love?
There are some indications that help us to know if those teenagers so reserved with parents about the ups and downs of their inner life have fallen into the networks of love:
- You spend most of your time with that person. Begin to reduce your circle of friends and focus only on that person.
- Spend most of the day "hooked" to your mobile or social networks, whether talking on the phone or writing messages, etc.
- Lack of appetite. When a young person is in love, you may feel "butterflies" in your stomach, or a knot of anxiety, nervousness and emotion. This new feeling, of illusion for the other person, can lead to a significant reduction of appetite.
- Change in your physical appearance. They tend to take more care of their physical appearance and give great importance to personal care.
Raquel García Zubiaga. Psychologist Institute of Applied Neurosciences to Education (INAE)
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