Teenage feelings, how to help regulate them?

A father and a mother always have to be willing to help their children in the most difficult times. However, sometimes this work becomes too hard because of the lack of information about what happens to his offspring. This is what happens during the adolescence, stage in which uncertainty surrounds young people, although they rarely share with their parents what they think.

How to know what the Teen? How to help him in situations where he most needs the advice of someone with more experience in life? We must be attentive to the attitudes of young people to deal with their emotional states.


The isolation of the adolescent

Every parent should know that adolescence involves uncertainty because of the amount of changes that are passed. A child goes from being a child to becoming an adult, the burden of responsibility increases and this can overwhelm the person to not know very well how to deal with this situation. Before this context, young people usually isolate themselves and feel overwhelmed by not knowing how to answer all these questions.

Another of the feelings that the child usually goes through is the emotional distance with their parents, which usually mixes with the rebellion. The young person prefers to be with his friends or directly only in his habituation when he thinks that his parents do not understand him and can not help him in the same way as someone of his age.


The egocentrism It is also common in teenagers. Young people think that everything must revolve around him and the rest of the problems do not affect them little. All this makes parents do not know how to help their children, the key is to know how to educate the feelings from small.

Help emotional maturity

Parents must bet from an early age for an education socioaffective so that, when adolescence arrives, the emotional maturity of the children will be more bearable. This involves teaching young people how to cope with the harsh situations that may arise on a day-to-day basis. But this does not happen by forcing him to assimilate the same mechanisms as an adult.

They are not due to model the feelings of the adolescent, but to teach self-regulation and to keep calm. The aim is to make the young person maintain a psychic wellbeing even in the least favorable moments. The emotional maturity of the child is based on the following points:


- The awareness of their own emotions and the acceptance of all of them as positive in themselves, when they are a response to an adequate stimulus.

- An amplitude of emotional experience that contemplates a rich range of emotions and feelings.

- The expression and action nuanced and ade * cuadas emotions and feelings sen * tidos.

- The permission of the intimate experience of emotions and instinctual responses in an adequate context, and the learning of those socialized as contributors to one's own property and that of others.

These are some tools with which to promote emotional maturity:

- Encourage the ability to be in contact with one's own emotional warp, to teach how to listen to sensations, feelings and emotions. The young person will learn to discover himself and to know his needs, his desires, his expectations, his mechanisms of functioning and his behavior modalities by touching with his emotions and his feelings. "How am I feeling?" it is a question that must be asked in the daily life, in the midst of the activity or the interpersonal relationship.

- Favor knowing how to identify and differentiate our feelings and emotions: the breadth and richness of emotional experience tells us about the density of the human being, the creative way of experiencing reality and the multiple modes of behavior to be adopted.

- Enabling the acceptance of modes the sensations as natural and valid. The criticism itself or others for feeling such emotion or feeling.

- Promote "responsibility" of one's feelings. The feelings are personal phenomena that are experienced and belong to the adolescent, for that reason they are the responsibility of the young person.

- Help affirm oneself: the right to be and to express oneself, respecting others appropriately. In addition, it is essential to distinguish between "feeling" an emotion and "expressing it or acting on it". It is one thing to feel an emotion, whatever it may be, and we can not impose it, and another to choose how and when to express and act it, then we can choose the behavior that is most appropriate to the context. Hence the importance of learning and managing a wide range of alternatives and gradual nuances in the expression of one's feelings and emotions.

- Allow yourself to live and express different feelings and emotions: grow and develop a satisfying life.

Damián Montero

Video: Helping your Child Regulate Emotions


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