6 family models: their characteristics and their effects on children

The family It is considered the most appropriate space for the growth and development of children on a personal level. The relationships that occur within the family they are shaping their shape. They are structured in different ways and many times, they change with the passage of time and events. Observing relationships between family members, we can describe different behavioral patterns that we call family models.

6 family models and their effects on children

1. Authoritarian model. Where one of the parents or both, although more frequently the father, try to exercise power over the sons or daughters. Life in the family is marked by the sense of discipline and duty, as well as by the control of one's needs or desires, and children have little voice. The family atmosphere is, in general, rather tense; the father is dominant and the others are the subjects. The mother, in most cases, exercises the role of mediator in case of divergent positions.


The authoritarian model is the source of serious problems due to the cultural shock that impacts on today's society.

2. Hyperprotective model. It is the most predominant model in our society, a model that can lead to children with intolerance to frustration. These sons and daughters who have been raised with the model of hyperpaternity have not had to face a real life on their own, they have not experienced frustration, falling and rising by themselves. When this happens in adulthood they become frustrated, blocked and do not find a way to channel the problem.

Adults assume the mission of making their children's lives as uncomplicated as possible, so that they even do things in their place. The key words are "welcome", "protection", "love" and the possible control is oriented to prevent or anticipate possible difficulties due to fear. The motto is: "Tell us what you need us to help you."


Although apparently sounds like a message of love, hides a subtle disqualification, ie: "I do everything for you because you alone would not get it", becoming a reality.

3. Democratic-permissive model. In this case dominates the absence of hierarchies, the family is characterized by dialogue and equality of all its members. Parents and children consider that they are friends. The goals to be pursued are harmony and the absence of conflict, the supreme good is peace. The rules are agreed between parents and children and can be negotiated; punishments are not imposed, but rather joint reasoning is attempted on the attitude to be adopted.

In these families, the parent does not represent the role of guide, stable support and security, but becomes a friend to whom the child, in general, does not address in times of crisis.

4. Sacrificial model. Parents believe that they have a duty to sacrifice themselves to promote the pleasure and satisfaction of their children, who are free from any obligation. The parents give without the children being required anything, with the undeclared hope that someday they will be rewarded, either by achieving success in life, or by getting everything that they did not manage to conquer. To guarantee children a high standard of living, parents often make sacrifices and give up.


5. Intermittent model. It is characterized by a strong ambivalence: the positions adopted by the members of the family change continuously, especially in the case of parents. They alternate, without any prevision, rigidity and flexibility, positions that revalue or disqualify the children, who in turn send inevitably contradictory messages. The constant is the continuous change in the absence of reference points and secure bases.

All the members of the family manifest a clear incapacity, not only to make decisions or discover the most adequate strategies for solving problems or conflicts, but also to maintain them.

6. Delegant model. This model, typical of newly formed families that join an extended and already structured family, creates a dynamic of competition between the different generations that deal with children, who learn to identify the most favorable strategies to obtain what they want. The rules are discussed with different modalities, due to the excess of reference figures. Parents are no longer authorized points of reference; grandparents are effective intermediaries to get what they want, but in difficult times do not represent a guide, which actually does not exist.

The one that predominates more a model than another is not in itself neither good nor bad. What happens is that often these models become rigid and even feeling that the family is not driving properly, they continue to insist on the same model, but with more emphasis causing problems to be accentuated.

Jorge López Vallejo. Psychologist of López Vallejo Psychology

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