Phrases you should avoid telling your children
Language is one of the most powerful tools of communication. Through the speech act values are expressed, ideas are made known, etc. With this mechanism you can also create a very special bond with the members of the family by holding talks every day.
Of course another of the uses that can be given to speech within the family is that of to nag the child when he has behaved badly. But you have to be careful in this regard because you may get an effect contrary to what you want, or even demotivating the little ones. If you want to say something to a child, you have to know which words to choose for the desired purposes.
Phrases that we should avoid with our children
- "Why do not you look more like your friend?" The comparisons are hateful. When you say this to the child you will feel that you are not loved by your parents, who prefer someone else as a child.
- "You have me fed up / fed up". A father can never tire of his children, patience is a virtue that must be transmitted to the little ones. The child must be made aware that in order to solve the problems he has, he will always have his parents. The opposite, the only thing that will be achieved is to break the bond and produce a sense of detachment that is difficult to solve.
- "How bad are you". To say this to a child is to indicate a great defect. It is always better to let him know that he must solve a problem of behavior that directly hang the label of bad or good, and above all, never compare with another person as this will feed a feeling of envy.
- "Do not cry, complain". The feelings have to be expressed and the children must cry when they feel like it. It is one thing to try to encourage them in sad moments and make them laugh and another to say that they are complaining about the importance of their problems.
- "You are a little boy". Of course he is a child and has children's things. Like all your age, you do not want to have a miniature adult. So the only thing that will be achieved is to affect their self-esteem and provoke an anger that will not solve the problem that they want to solve in it.
- "Because I say it". The authority at home is the parents, that is true. But neither should the importance of dialogue in the home be forgotten. Parents should, as far as possible, make the youngest children understand why they have decided one issue or another. Never forget to explain the reasons and act "just because".
- "You'll see when your father / mother finds out". Parents are family, not people to be feared. With this phrase what is achieved is that the child sees his parents as people to be afraid of. If a child misbehaves, you will have to scold him, but never threaten a terrible reprimand when his father or mother arrives and finds out what he has done.
Damián Montero
