Child autonomy: keys to manage independently

Numerous studies and investigations in different disciplines speak of the importance of autonomy in children and in teenagers. From the perspective of Educational Psychology, the development of autonomy is one of the priorities to promote in different areas, from learning to dress for yourself or making your bed, to managing your emotions independently.

As stated in article 16 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child: "the child has the right to progressively develop the exercise of their rights, ie, that the child as a full subject of rights, acquires autonomy, and the State and Family , support and protect the development of the child, so that progressively exercise their rights, according to the evolution of their faculties.

The permissive style hinders the development of autonomy

However, it is a reality that the educational style that has been imposed in the different families is the permissive, in which the child is offered numerous opportunities, trust and awards but the limits and control are conspicuous by their absence. This situation generates multiple consequences in the child's evolutionary development, among them, a minimum level of autonomy in habits such as personal hygiene, eating or self-care. Sometimes, the levels of autonomy are so scarce, that it is the school itself that is responsible for teaching and acquiring these habits.

As a general rule, the lack of involvement on the part of the parents to this issue, harms the development of basic autonomy habits. They prefer to do it because they do it in a faster and better way, or they are dominated by the belief that "they will learn it when they are older" without taking into account the difficulties that may arise in future evolutionary stages. It is necessary to emphasize that a child or a self-contained child tends to behave in a dependent manner: demand constant help to resolve situations that he or she could solve, has little initiative or does not face the responsibilities that may arise at the stage that he is living. This type of behavior can affect you in learning or socializing with other children.

How to work the autonomy of children so that they win in independence

In this way we can raise some questions related to the autonomy of minors and their impact on physical and emotional development: What are the aspects that we must take into account in the autonomy of children and adolescents? How should parents and / or teachers act? What kind of guidelines should we teach our children?

There are several aspects that we must take into account and that are what we have to work to enhance the independence of the child. Among them, the most important:

- Feeding: develop habits of being able to eat alone, take your plate when finished, put or remove the table, make the snack etc.
- Personal hygiene: those behaviors related to self-care. For example brushing teeth, bathing, washing hands ...
- The dressing: development of habits that have to do with clothes: organization of your clothes, folding and storing or dressing by yourself.
- Coexistence in society: behaviors linked to social relationships and their norms: say hello, words of gratitude, ask please, respect turns of speech, know how to listen etc.
- The use of new technologies: promote the responsible use and control of new technologies: respect for schedules, respect for privacy and privacy etc.

Habits to develop the autonomy of children

We must bear in mind that to develop personal autonomy in the previous categories, we must work with habits. Therefore, we must understand that they are repetitive and automated behaviors (no type of cognitive involvement intervenes after having developed the habit) and must be established in a progressive and constant manner. Therefore, patience and perseverance are fundamental.

Most children respond appropriately with routines. Therefore, the key
it will be to get the habits to become routine processes.

In general, with optimal practice, habits are learned around 20 or 30 days. In addition, to achieve the development of a routine, it is necessary to carry out a series of guidelines in which the following aspects are worked on:

1. Define the behavior you must perform and prepare the context: In this first point it is very important that the adult perform this behavior slowly so that the child can imitate the desired behavior in an appropriate way. In the first place, the adult can reproduce it while the minor watches carefully. Second, the child will imitate the behavior while the adult reproduces it.For this reason, it is essential to break down the behavior into concrete and well-defined steps (Modeling Technique).

2. The importance of practice for habit development is fundamental. At the beginning, it is often necessary to repeat the same practice many times and to convert the desired behavior into habit. While you practice, you can remember the instructions with help step by step, as well as reinforcing the progress you make on your own. For that phase, the timing is essential.

3. Supervision once you have managed to perform the behavior on your own. For this, it is necessary to review how it performs the behavior and the evaluation of the results. In the event that the results are not as expected, it should be encouraged that it can always be improved.

4. The habit is the desired one. No longer any kind of help or supervision, the child or adolescent will execute the behavior in a repetitive and constant manner, becoming the desired habit.

In short, autonomy in a child is fundamental for their physical and emotional development, extrapolating from their life stages in the adult stage.

Ángel Bernal Caravaca. Psychologist and Mediator Co-founder of Lomber Soluciones Cyberbullying.

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