Codependence in the couple
The effort, the living for and for the other, the sacrifice, the indulgence for the couple or for the children are signs that at first sight seem gestures of love, of concern for the other and that do not seem to hide anything negative for the person that is unconditionally delivered
However, in many cases these people suffer what is known as codependence, that is, their relationships are "addictive" and they move away from what love is, because these people leave their identity, their desires, their interests and therefore their individuality in order to satisfy the desires and needs of others.
What is codependence?
People who are codependent in their relationships, tend to seek satisfaction in others, to depend on them to live and feel an intense fear of being abandoned, which keeps them "hooked" to these relationships even though they are not healthy .
In these cases the person understands that he must do everything possible to satisfy and make others happy by trying to get everything he thinks they need, he feels dependent on the approval of the other person to feel good, not being themselves and limiting thus its autonomy.
A person can establish rco-dependency relationships with your partner, with their parents, with their children, their friends, etc. These relationships are not healthy and have a negative effect on the person who suffers, which affects their emotional stability.
Signs of codependence in the couple
Some of the signs that warn us that our relationships are not healthy and that perhaps we are establishing codependent relationships are;
- Intense need to care for others, to worry about their needs without taking into account or taking charge of their own needs.
- They feel responsible for the feelings and emotions of others, with what they put all their efforts and make all kinds of sacrifices to make them happy.
- Low self-esteem, they are people who are valued negatively, who fear being rejected and that leads them to do anything to avoid being abandoned.
- Difficulty to establish limits in their relationships, which leads them to give everything for the other, doing more than their fair share and leaving them unprotected.
- They are controllers, they want to know everything and be part of everything the couple or children do, arriving to make decisions for them.
To get out of this pattern of behavior and establish healthy relationships, the first thing is to recognize that we are not good at the point where we are, strengthen our self-esteem taking care of ourselves, practice assertiveness to transmit our desires and needs and face the feelings of guilt.
Rocío Navarro Psychologist Director of Psicolari, integral psychology
