Emotional first aid: strips for a split heart
We all have passed at some point by a break that has left us the "heart departed" as the teacher Alejandro Sanz would say, either by a breakup of a couple or by the loss of a true friendship. In any case, we have had to go through that feeling of emptiness and sadness, of thinking that it will never happen that pain or that pain that does not let you enjoy anything.
But as you know well you have come out of each of the disappointments that you have lived and this will also come out, although at this moment the mind makes you believe that this is impossible.
Very few people are trapped in pain for years and, in general, are people who have been widowed or have ended a relationship after many years of coexistence and have no resources or tools to manage the pain and face this new stage .
Stage emotional first aid
Some tips to cure those emotional wounds and that broken heart are:
In the first phase:
It is time to let the pain be expressed without victimization or gloating.
1. Allow yourself to cry, scream and be sad for a few days, without wanting to, lying on the sofa, watching a movie, but you will make a pact with yourself: once a maximum of one month has passed after letting go of the disappointment, feeling that apathy and not wanting anything, more than crying and crying, you will start to let go the memory, the spinning of the subject, the putting on of love movies, the talking and thinking only of him.
A month is necessary and justified but then for your own good: "or more"
2. Tell how you feel about friends or family with which you get along, that will make you let go a little, let it go out, the shared pains are less, you will receive their understanding and affection and you will see that things are minimized a little.
3. Visit a therapist if you see that the pain and the wound cause you much suffering that you do not know how to manage or just want help and learn from the situation.
4. Write on a piece of paper everything you feel, without tapujos, it is only for you, so that you allow the expression of what you have inside, because the worst thing is that you keep it, that it stays inside, somehow that makes it remain unhealed and stays longer or manifests itself later. Let everything go without being polite or thinking too much, just put on paper everything that comes, it's as if you spit out the garbage outside of you.
Then burn that paper, you do not need it at all.
In the second phase:
It's time to let go of the pain, the memory and start living a new life.
5. Buy yourself a hand mirror and repeat every day everything you have to be happy, looking at yourself in it, and do it at least 21 days.
6. Play music that you like and do not get tangled up in your thoughts, FEEL the music.
7. Learn to pause your thoughts in a loop (about what has broken your heart) taking 5 minutes a few deep breaths without thinking about anything, putting a slight smile on your face, even if you do not feel like it, and just feel how your body relaxes, rests and breathes, feels how your belly and chest fill without thoughts without wanting to change anything or fix anything. At least for 10 breaths let breathe and be present with yourself is the most important.
8. Go to the movies and choose movies with laughter.
9. Stay with friends.
10. Read a new book that surrounds you and you like it, do not read anything that makes you sadder, the month of crying is over, now it's time to learn to enjoy your loneliness and to be comfortable with yourself.
11. Every time you see yourself thinking about what happened, COME BACK TO THE PRESENT, Take a deep breath and be more aware of what you are doing, whatever it may be, cooking, eating, showering or working, feel more every moment that is happening.
12. Connect with what you have. Make a list of what you are fortunate and what you are grateful for and do it every day, write at least 10 things each day to change the focus, energy and generate new chemistry in your body.
13. It is very important to generate more endorphins and dopamine, so you can do sport for it, or as I told you to watch laughter movies or do things that you like and relax will help you.
14. It will also help you to do creative and new things to generate new neural networks, a new state of being, and leave your old way of feeling and living. So you can sign up for a cooking, photography, painting, and dance course *
15. Pamper yourself: go shopping, change your look, go to the spa, get a massage *
16. Travel, open your mind, know new places and people, experience and feel life in you and around you.
17. Write a letter to yourself. Make future plans.
18. Practice acceptance and trust, even if you do not understand.
19. Repeat this feeling is passengerIt's like a storm, it will not last forever even if it seems like it now.
20. YOU ARE INDEPENDENT, Learn to enjoy it !.
Make a list of all the things you can now do when you want and how you want, but for now do not have too much desire and enjoy that feeling of being a free bird.
Idoia Berridi. Nutritionist and life coach. Author of the book BeLove method. Blog Be happy, be healthy, be you.
It may interest you:
- How to overcome a sentimental break and be your best partner
- Sadness, what to do when we are sad?
- Rumination: when thoughts enter a loop
- 13 keys to be happy, according to Harvard
