The complexes of children: how to avoid them?

Some children may be underestimated by believing themselves inferior to others in their physical or intellectual aspect, feeling unable to live up to others. This produces thecomplexes of children, which sometimes are difficult to overcome, so the time that, par excellence, should be the most beautiful time of their lives, childhood, can become a real ordeal.

After eight or nine years, children are able to assess the reactions that others have towards them and discern whether they are good or bad. For this reason, from kids we must teach them to think for themselves and decide on some of the things that directly affect them. Only in this way will they be able to overcome the complexes, they will grow sure of themselves and will be able to overcome all the rejections that come from outside.


Causes of children's complexes

Some children have a defect (real or figurative) and others are required to believe that they are worthless because they always fail; they develop a Inferiority complex that does not let them enjoy these wonderful years. But the real complex arises when the child comes to the conviction that all he, his person, is not worth anything, does not matter to anyone. Sometimes, we are both parents and teachers who demand more from the child than he can really give, which means not knowing his true psychological development.

Although he has pledged all his good will in doing things well, he can not please anyone. If you are asked too much, you are not being given the chance to have any small success. Fails in everything that is required, therefore, think: "I'm worthless, I'll never get it." Any initiative of the child is canceled and his imagination, creativity and autonomy are not exercised.


The responsibility of the parents in the complexes of the children

Sometimes, and with all the good intentions of the world, parents are responsible for the complexes of children when we project their own illusions in their children, without understanding that they are different people. This demand without meaning occurs because we fervently want them to be what we could not become. We talk and talk about how far he will go: he will study Medicine, like his mother; it will be a monster of mathematics, like the grandmother; will become the best athlete trained by the grandfather, who was national coach; or manager of a multinational, like his father. There is no room for the development of imagination and fantasy, for children's games: only serious occupations according to a plan for the future.

We all have flaws, only some become complex

Another important cause of the inferiority complex are the defects: any physical, constitutional or acquired defect over time (myopia, deafness), or psychic defect (lack of memory) can constitute the starting point of an inferiority complex; especially if parents, brothers or classmates make fun of him or despise him.


Sometimes a real inferiority is not necessary; a somewhat strange characteristic may suffice to attract to the child the nicknames or cruel (by unconscious) nicknames of his companions: the color of the hair, a stature that is too high or too low, etc.

A tone of mockery, a hurtful phrase, even if it is not right, can make you complex. The child can not get rid of all those labels that they put on him and will end up getting used to the idea that, in effect, he is like that. Your own home should be a redoubt of joy and optimism, a place to regain strength and self-esteem; but it can become a nefarious place if unconscious parents dedicate themselves to highlight, by system, these same defects.

Maria Lucea

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