Wendy's syndrome: how to care for others without neglecting
When we say the name of Wendy, probably, many of us come to the head the image of the adorable girl from the Peter Pan movie. And if we stop to think what is the role of Wendy in the film, we will realize that It was that figure that was there for everyone, he looked after his brothers, he cared about Peter Pan and the lost children, which has led to the so-called Wendy syndrome.
Well, although the Wendy syndrome It is not considered a clinical pathology, if it is true that many people, especially women, behave like the adorable child of the story. People who seek to make everything always easy for others, who are always available for everything and everyone. The mother who awakens her 15-year-old son so that he does not arrive late to school, or the one who carries all the household responsibilities, would be some examples of this syndrome.
What is behind Wendy's syndrome?
The truth is that everyone, at some point in our lives, can behave this way. What differentiates it from the Wendy syndrome It is what moves these people to behave that way.
What is behind the behavior of these people is fear, fear of abandonment, rejection ..., these people need to feel loved by those around them, they need to satisfy the needs of others and that is why they try to please others , which usually tend to be the couple or the children.
Characteristics of people with Wendy syndrome
Some of the characteristics shared by people who act under Wendy's syndrome are:
- They feel the need to care for others, assuming the role of protector and establishing a feeling that is essential for others.
- He wants to always please the people around him, your partner, your children, avoiding at all costs that they get angry.
- Assume the responsibilities of others, to make their lives easier, in order to meet this level of demand, they are leaving aside their needs and putting themselves in the background.
- They feel guilty what leads them to apologize for everything, for what they have done and for what they do not, it downplays the bad behavior of others, justifying them, which causes that feeling of guilt to increase.
How to take care of others without neglecting yourself
It is normal and natural to want to take care of your loved ones and worry about them. However, when in my relationship I only give and few or never receive, things get complicated, because feelings of frustration, sadness, of being undervalued begin to appear ...
If you find yourself in this situation, some of the things you can start to do to feel better are:
1. Take care of yourself, create a space where you are the important one, Do things that you like, that make you feel good, dedicate time to yourself. If you are well, you will spread that positive energy to others.
2. Learn to say no without feeling guilty about it. And not be available to everyone and at all times.
3. Set limits in your relationships, In the same way that we offer our help, there are times when it is not our responsibility to solve the problems of others.
4. Respect the space of others, controls the need to do things for others and lets each one exercise their responsibility and autonomy in their life.
Rocío Navarro Psychologist Director of Psicolari, integral psychology
