The danger of overprotecting children
Our children will have to conquer their freedom little by little, even if it costs us. The danger of overprotecting children, as the so-called helicopter parents do, is that we will make it difficult for them to take off and grow in autonomy. When children do things for themselves, their self-esteem grows.
Our son is no longer a baby and we are increasingly aware that he grows up, and with him his desire to explore the world. Little by little he will be more independent and the day will come when he will have to make do with himself. Therefore, we have to be very clear that even if it hurts, try maintaining his dependence on us can be harmful to him. From these moments we will have to help him, more than ever, to grow in all the senses and that implies, of course, that we also do it in autonomy.
In any case, it is very normal that we tend to overprotect him. We see him so small and helpless that we are afraid that something might happen to him. That the child makes a bump or scratches his knees or arms when falling can be a nightmare for the most overprotective parents. But let's not be alarmed. Nor does anything of the other world happen if we behave like this, especially if this attitude manifests itself primarily before the child reaches its first year. From here, we can say that "there are no excuses". Our little one will have to conquer his freedom little by little, even though it costs us
Avoid overprotecting him: better him alone
It is also true that, sometimes, it is not so much overzealous as in haste. We prefer to do everything ourselves, including putting on their socks or T-shirts before teaching them to do it by themselves. And we are aware that this could mean that our son exhausted our patience completely.
Another reason that we tend to protect you too much is that we do not realize that our attitude is more than beneficial to you, it may end up hurting you in the long run. Perhaps our son is not shy by nature, but if we have him all day stuck to us for fear of something happening to him, it is very likely that tomorrow he will not have enough confidence to function in an open environment. Or what is worse, that stages like the nursery or the new school will be more uphill than the rest of the children of his age.
Of course, to get our son to be more independent, before you must be completely sure that your parents will help you when you are in a hurry.
Promotes its development: will win in autonomy
When you take the initiative for the first time, it is convenient to encourage him to do it again. This is one of the best ways for the child to learn and stimulate intellectually. First, because every day he learns to do new things using your hands and your mind. Second, because you are new experiences, in addition to being a way of "practicing" that serve as a teaching. We all know that soap stings when it gets in your eyes. But most likely, our child will not close his eyes tightly until a drop of soap causes this irritation.
Also, when you do things for yourself, we are helping your self-esteem grow. Knowing that there are certain activities you can do alone, such as tying your shoelaces or breaking the tortilla into small pieces, gives you confidence in yourself. In this way, he discovers little by little what his possibilities are, what he is capable of, and this makes him better every day.
Although it is small, it is maturing, and this is the true path that will make you free, responsible and able to face the difficulties of life in the future.
You are older
In this way, we can explain to him that he is older so that we do everything and, therefore, he must begin to assume his responsibilities and leave behind his fears. After 4 years, for example, you can take care of your toilet, play without too much danger in the park or maintain a certain order in your room, although it may be necessary to remind you or supervise how you do things. In addition to everything a challenge for him, it can be a fun that he will carry out with pleasure if the parents know how to make him see it that way.
But, to successfully reach this level, we have to start working with him from a young age. Motivating you, encouraging you to make small efforts how to go up or down stairs, avoiding putting fear into your body every time you go up a slide, even though we know that you will stick a good "culetazo". Some bruise or bump does not have to be a concern for us, since the child will learn by himself to be careful not to hurt himself.
Learning from experience
That does not mean that we do not watch from a distance or that we do not establish a few reasonable limits. To do this we can begin by observing our little one attentively, so it will not be difficult for us to discover what it is that it can do and what it can not do, where there is a real danger and where it is not.
The goal is not to discourage you no matter how late or even a little clumsy and constantly fall from the swings. Our support, patience and affection will depend on the child's efforts to surpass himself. The first few days, for example, it is likely that brushing your teeth can not prevent your brush from dripping on the floor, but after a while you will not only be an expert, but also be a little more prepared to leave home to spend a weekend in his grandparents without them having to stay all day of him.
Further, it is good to learn from your own mistakes. From them you will not only draw useful conclusions, but also refine your way of doing things. In short, it is about delimiting what you can and can not really do. Neither teach him to skate before he can walk, nor cut the steak eternally at lunchtime for fear of a small cut. Although we would like them never to grow up, we must assume that it is ultimately for their own good.
Teresa Pereda
