The personality of the only child: characteristic features
Nowadays it is not strange to find families in which there is only one child. They are called "unique children"For some, children with a high probability of becoming real spoiled and pampered, but how are these boys and girls who grow up without siblings really? What does it mean to be an only child for their development? the dedication and the parent-child relationship, the truth is that it also has its disadvantages.
How are the only children?
It is true that every home is a world and that therefore, each unique child is different from all the others, but there are common characteristics that often mark these children. Thus, there are several studies that show that boys who have grown up alone know how to have fun for themselves and they need less from the company of other children.
In turn, when they are surrounded by more boys and girls, they tend to be much more willing to participate. Probably this type of behavior is due to the fact that, having not been raised between siblings, They are not so competitive or jealous... His things have always been his and the love of his parents too.
Characteristics of the only child
If this is our case, we will also have observed many other characteristic features in our only child: The most likely thing is that it is a boy who finds it hard to wait his turn when playing with others, for example. After all, he is accustomed to always being the first one at home, so he can show himself a bit selfish and egocentric.
In addition, these children, they are usually much more mature than the rest of the boys of his age. On the one hand, since they do not have siblings, they are used to constantly looking for the company of their parents or other adults. On the other hand, since these are the only references, they tend to constantly compare with them: They love to pretend that they are much older than they are and some of them can even become the typical "know-it-alls".
Finally, they have an amazing ability to accept loneliness ... No wonder because most of the time they play alone. For all this, it is essential that parents know that educating the only child is a challenge, which requires effort and information about it.
The triangle of the only child: a family of three
When a family is made up of three people, it is easy for a family to produce a strong bond between two of them. Link that, in general, implies the exclusion of the third party. That a father uses his son as a "pawn" in discussions with his wife may reflect a close bond with the son, who may feel estranged from the other parent.
Also, in cases where the parents are older (situation in which the spouses have usually developed a close relationship between them before the child was born), the link between them will continue to be the strongest.
If, in addition, the only child acts as an ally of one of the parents against the other, or as an observer of the close relationship, the consequences of the triangle can contribute to creating that feeling of being an intruder.
So, the balance in a family with a single child It is very different from the one that exists in families with several children. As a result, only children experience their relationship with their parents more intensely. Moreover, many of the feelings of the only children are closely linked to the distribution of power that existed within their own family.
Elena López
Advice: Jill Pitkeathley. Director of The Cares National Association
It may interest you:
- 10 ideas to educate the only child
- Myths of the only son
- China abandons the imposition of the only child
- The older brother, his role in the family
- Firstborn children score higher in intelligence
