Afraid to trust people: pisantrophobia
When we trust someone and that person fails us, it is logical that it costs us to trust other people and that we be more cautious when it comes to giving our trust to others. However, in some cases this cautious logic can become an irrational fear of trusting others. Pisantrophobia is precisely that fear of trusting people due to the bad experiences of the past.
What is pisantrophobia?
The pisantrophobia or pistanthrophobia It is an irrational fear, which arises when a person has several previous negative experiences, which have left an imprint on the emotional plane.
The fear of trusting people it appears when a person has had several sentimental failures, in which he lives a painful loss of confidence.
The bonds established between people, in any type of relationship, be it friendship, partner or companionship, are based on trust. Trust is the basis of every relationship, especially trust in the bond that the other person has with us.
When we establish a relationship, we base it on the bond of trust, and when that link fails, when trust breaks down, there is a major blow that leaves an imprint on the emotional plane.
The thought-emotion mechanism that leads us to pisantrophobia
After several sentimental failures in which there is a loss of confidence, it is normal that interpretations or thoughts related to trust in others appear, such as "you can not trust anyone", etc. You may wonder why it happens to you: "what do I do to make them fail me, why always to me?", Etc. And even, thoughts related to your hopes, hopes, your future: "I will always be alone", "I can not let them hurt me again", etc.
Thoughts are often associated and give rise to certain painful sensations and emotions:
- The loss of confidence in oneself and others.
- Disappointment and frustration.
- Low self-esteem.
- Sadness, anger.
- Guilt and shame.
And these sensations are generalized and the fear of future links appears. The fear that the same thing will happen again. Fear is a natural emotion that fulfills a function, the function of protecting ourselves from danger, however, when fear becomes a phobia it limits us and does not allow us to move forward. It is often the same fear that conditions our way of acting in other relationships and causes the absence of trust.
What are the symptoms of pantrophobia?
1. The person experiences an irrational fear of trusting others. When someone approaches you they think that at some point (sooner or later) they will be betrayed. This interpretation is not only produced on the sentimental level, but also with friends, family, co-workers, etc.
2. Avoid having intimate relationships, they become hermetic and distrustful.
3. Avoid interpersonal contact with other people, especially with unknown people.
4. Loses interest in friendships, or by looking for a partner.
5. They are introverted and reserved. They can be nervous about intimate questions, which require telling their stories.
Learn to trust again
It is normal that when someone fails us, we feel pain, we feel betrayed and we have certain misgivings to trust someone again. However, trust is essential to establish relationships with other people and relationships and trust bring us well-being. It is important that we take time to trust again.
- Accept your pain and do not look for guilt. Accept your pain as a normal part of the betrayal process, do not feel guilty for feeling pain.
- Understands betrayal as something that can happen in relationships and do not take it personally. Avoid interpretations that lead to rancor, guilt or shame. Instead of questioning yourself because you think they are things that sometimes happen.
- Let the process of psychological and emotional readjustment pass that accompanies the pain.
- Trust again little by little. You do not need to give all your trust to a person as soon as they meet you. Instead, you can trust little by little.
Celia Rodríguez Ruiz. Clinical health psychologist. Specialist in pedagogy and child and youth psychology. Director of Educa and Learn. Author of the collection Stimulate Reading and Writing Processes.
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