The decisive decade: the trains that you can not lose at 20 years

A whole network of social, cultural and economic factors has led to delay the stage in which the maturity of the twenties to the thirties is reached and young people run the risk of losing trains that will not happen again. The score is the decisive decade. Meg Jay, author of the book The decisive time. Why they are important from the age of twenty to thirty and how to make the most of them now, explains the important reasons why there are trains that we can not lose when we are 20 years old.

The truth is that there are a number of phrases that have been cast as mantras among young people: "It is early to commit, now I have the right to enjoy, I will have time to tie myself up, after so many years of study I want to enjoy life. ... "and have made such a dent in the collective imagination that they have moved away from sitting down.

But the truth is that the effect of this idea of youth is pernicious because, when the happy twenty-somethings want to reorder their lives, they realize that they are late, that their capacity for election is practically nil and that they can only stay with the remains. This is what Meg Jay, mother, clinical psychologist and author of The decisive time. Why they are important from the age of twenty to thirty and how to make the most of them now (Asertos, 2016) and reflected in a book that is now published in Spain a battery of tips to take advantage of those years.

A decisive decade: popular deception

Popular culture invites us to think that Twenty-somethings are too inexperienced, immature, lazy or short as to take life seriously, but it is not true. We have been sold the theory of banality, irresponsibility and immaturity of the twenty years as something fun and normal, and accepted by parents. The media tell us about a late adolescence and even some journalists have invented terms like adulterating, an adult who retains adolescent behaviors. In short, culture has been responsible for trivializing that stage of life.

But it is a deception and if young people do not take full advantage of the 20s, they will be disappointed. Starting at age 30, the relevant experiences in life begin to diminish. The reason is that at that moment our life is more closed and it is more difficult to introduce changes. We have finished the race, we probably have a stable relationship, we have even decided to start a family. We may have a mortgage or some liability that prevents us from changing course.

As 80 percent of the decisive moments take place before 30, we are forced to amend the decisions we made when we were 20 or to accept them. The bad thing is that we do not usually think that 20 is so important. We believe that the most significant experiences of life occur when we are having a good time, or when we have met someone fun, but that is not the case. They try to convince us that this decade does not matter.

The fear of making decisions at 20 years

The current economic crisis has caused many 20-year-olds to feel cheated. Is it so amply prepared, but very few find work when they finish university and if they do, it does not meet the expectations that they and their parents had dreamed of.

Many believe that everything will be solved when they reach 30, and in some cases it is like that. But it does not always happen as they expect. They believe that although they are losing time now, when they reach thirty they will be able to recover it. They think that, by now refusing to make decisions, they will later have many more options because they see decision-making as a way to close doors. However, not making decisions is a decision like any other that is closing doors to others.

The risk of not taking control of life before the age of 30

As parents, the challenge before us is to convince our children of the importance of taking their twenties seriously. In fact, Meg Jay was so worried about how difficult it is for young people to become aware that she wrote The decisive decade for them. Not thinking about them or their parents, but talking to them, with experiences of the hundreds of people who have gone through their clinic and with very clear tricks about how to make their own lives.

Victoria Molina

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