Antidotes against laziness. How to motivate the lazy children
He finds it hard to get up, he is disorderly, he just wants to be watching television and he does not pay attention or interest in almost anything. Children are active by nature so, in cases like these, we have to ask ourselves if the problem of lazy children it's more than simple sloth.
At these ages, our children are putting into practice many virtues that they learn at home and at school. However, many parents complain about the laziness their children show and do not know what to do to motivate them. The effort, the sense of work, wanting to do things well and strength of will are essential qualities for your future. If they do not exercise them since they were little, they will soon become soft, selfish and easy-going teenagers, with the negative consequences that this will bring in their adult life.
However, when searching antidotes against laziness, parents must go to the root of the problem and distinguish when it's a really lazy child, and when your discouragement may be caused by other factors.
The real lazy: how to motivate the lazy children
This is the case of well-to-do children, who shirk their responsibilities, do not get involved in housework, and if they do, it is after a lot of insisting, of course, pouting.
In a child like this, the root of the problem may be in parents who have wanted to make life easier and give everything, to avoid suffering or pass any deficiency. It is always treated as a small child, mimes and carantoñas are provided, comments full of compassion are made in his presence, etc. Although parents do it with good intentions, all this will end up harming the child, who will not be able to overcome future difficulties on his own.
This is how the attitude of lazy and lazy children manifests
- Only perform activities that do not require effort.
- No perfection is required in what he does: notes, assignments, duties ...
- He does not fight every day against the defects that he has and that he knows perfectly.
- He lets himself be overcome by discouragement.
- Does not understand the positive value of sacrifice.
- Do not take care of the little details.
- Do not think about things before doing them.
- Sometimes, he has nothing to do.
- Does not meet a schedule.
- It does not fulfill the commitments.
- Reveal the secrets that entrust to you.
- An activity begins, although he suspects that it will not end.
- Does not assume responsibilities.
Ideas to motivate lazy and lazy children
Parents can follow a series of guidelines to help our lazy son:
1. Help you organize an afternoon or weekend schedule, in order to develop their self-demanding capacity. That is not overwhelming or easy, so you always know what you have to do and what not.
2. Remind him to finish what he starts, cFor example, a sports extracurricular activity.
3. Demand perfection in his duties, according to your maturity and age.
4. Encourage him to do, from time to time, what he does not want and it is not your order -as some annoying message- to strengthen your will.
5. Allow time between your request and its fulfillment. It is more educational to earn what you want to have.
6. Try to always do his own things, before falling into the temptation to do so, for example, order your clothes.
7. Demand self-control in their impulses: bad mood, impatience, curiosity ...
8. Do not let it complain of small setbacks.
9. Accustom him to assume his responsibilities.
Disorders that can discourage children
Sometimes, it may be the case that a child is inactive because he suffers a problem that goes unnoticed. Children are much more vital than adults, so if our child is discouraged and does not want to do anything, almost permanently, it is a clear sign that something is wrong.
These children are usually eTicketing as "lazy" and "lazy", even sometimes as unintelligent, when the truth is that their intelligence is normal, but a particular problem prevents them from demonstrating their worth. Some disorders that can lead to this attitude are:
1. Attention disorders without hyperactivity.Children with attention disorders without hyperactivity are shy, unmotivated, anxious and weak from the psychological point of view. They often have problems at school, because they do not reach the proposed objectives.
2. Depression in children.Some of the symptoms of childhood depression are: sadness, irritability, easy crying, lack of sense of humor, feeling of not being wanted, low self-esteem, social isolation, changes in sleep, appetite and weight changes, hyperactivity, etc.The origin may be due to the absence of reinforcements, experiences of failures, negative events in the child's life, negative attributions, even biological causes (such as a dysfunction of the neuroendocrine system).
3. Learning disorders.When they present a great difficulty for the management of spoken or written language due to a psychological disorder. Dyslexia, dysgraphia or dyslalia are some of these disorders. They usually have a bad handwriting, they are very slow, they do not finish the activities or exams in the time foreseen for the others and since their general intellectual level is within normal limits, they usually pass as lazy and distracted children. Affected children suffer a great demotivation for learning, as well as anguished and depressing reactions because they do not seem capable of living up to what is asked of them at school. In addition, this brings about family alterations.
If we suspect that our son's laziness may be due to some psychological disorder, let's not hesitate to go to a specialist. In this way, the sooner we approach the problem, the easier it will be for the child to adapt to the rhythm of the course. In these cases, the family plays the most important role, not only when it comes to detecting the problem, but also when it is time to start working together with the specialist and the teachers so that our child can overcome these difficulties.
Tips to overcome laziness
- The usual expiration in apparently small things It is creating habits of work, of industriousness: it is the real war against laziness. We can encourage our son to give the seat to an older person on the bus, to leave the candy for the little brother, not to complain if the food does not like, etc.
- You have to avoid active laziness, which consists, for example, in that our son decides to go to study at a friend's house and in the end, end up having a great time but without learning anything. Each father knowing his son well will be able to guide him towards what is best for him at each moment.
- When a minimum of family norms is lived, as well as a schedule, we really help our children. We can include: time for meals, study, games, watching television programs, etc., with the flexibility of a home.
- It is very important to talk frequently with teachers, Many times your behavior at school will be one of the best warnings about a possible problem for our son, which requires the help of a specialist.
- To be alert to possible disorders that could justify their laziness, from time to time we can review -do not study- the homework with him, to verify that he has written with good lyrics, that he has finished them all and that he has them well done.
Teresa Pereda
Advice: Alfonso Aguiló, president of CECE (Spanish Confederation of Teaching Centers)
