When leaving school, is there anyone at home?
The bell of the end of the classes sounds and all the students throw themselves, in crazy race, towards the exit of the school. It's time for snack, cartoons, friends and homework. But, in some cases, when leaving school, nobody is home. The perspective is not so attractive, if after an exhausting day at school, what awaits them empty house. This loneliness can create not only psychological and emotional problems for children, but also involves certain safety risks.
By putting the key in the lock, some children already know that no one is waiting for them. Some guys have already settled into this situation and it does not affect them at all, but others can try combat loneliness in various ways. For example, rushing on television or on the video game console. And so, barely five minutes before their parents arrive, leave that entertainment to do homework.
Others, without the vigilance of their parents, they acquire the bad habit of stay on the street, instead of going home as soon as possible. Maybe with the gang or maybe alone, but they wander from one place to another, wasting time and exposing themselves to many other dangers: inconvenient places like billiards and video games, people with bad intentions, ill-advised diversions ... Of course, shortly before his parents arrive, he will have arrived home, and no one will imagine the lack of security he has had all afternoon.
Children alone when leaving school
Our son does not act with malice: it takes a lot of willpower to go straight back home instead of hanging around when no one is waiting for them. The circumstances of each family are different and, in some cases, maybe there is no choice but to leave the children alone. But, since they start school until they are about twelve years old, this situation should not be seen as normal; it is convenient that there is some movement supervision.
Physical security occupies an important place among the parents' concern, but not only when walking on the street: also within the home itself. It does not have to happen, but with kids alone at home, it's easier for accidents to happen. Therefore, we have to establish a action plan with the children: that they know what to do if they have an accident, what phone to call, which neighbor or relative to go to and, if they are old enough and mature enough, to teach them some first aid.
Affective problems of children alone
However, the psychological and emotional problems that this situation may cause are more worrisome. In fact, boys and girls suffer especially from loneliness and boredom. This can cause that they may get the feeling that they do not care much about their parents, even that they do not love them. That is why they solve it in their own way, by hooking up to television or video games, that is, to what takes less effort. Leave the homework at the last minute, because there is no one in front who demands or who is interested.
To alleviate this negative effect, when you get home (probably after a tiring day) you will have to leave your own professional problems hanging on the rack to turn over to your children and your spouse. Our son looks forward to telling us what he has done that day, to teach us an exam or a drawing ... With effort on our part, indeed, but our children have to verify that what they already know is fulfilled in practice. : "my parents love me".
Seek help to avoid leaving children alone
Having someone to take care of the children until we arrive can be the best solution, although it is probably not possible for all families. The ingenuity often supplements the lack of economic resources: there are several tricks and ideas that some families have put into practice to prevent a boy or a girl of these ages from being left alone. All this is aimed at achieving safety in the environment of the boy, to avoid external dangers.
1. Caregiver or nanny.Some people can afford a caregiver to take care of the children, waiting for them at school or at home, controlling their arrival time, where they play, when they do homework and study, etc. If you can come to help on certain days of the week, it can be matched with those afternoons when parents have more problems coming back soon.
2. Grandparents or relatives. Sometimes, this task can be entrusted to the grandparents or to a relative who lives more or less close. It can even help usNo neighbor our friend or a mother of the school with a home near us. We can agree with her to share our afternoons: one day she has a lot of kids at home and another is us. We can also have at home a trusted university student who lends and wants to earn some money.
We must encourage the idea in children that there will always be someone waiting for them at home, even if they are not parents because they can not. In this way these problems are avoided. Then, on the other hand, it is not so important that you spend the whole afternoon with you. If the child is responsible, the assistant, the family member, etc. You can leave quietly when we delay a little.
Extracurricular activities after school
Another idea to keep our son occupied and safe some afternoons is to take advantage of extracurricular activities at school or in an academy or club near the school or home. Without imposing them or overwhelming the child with new classes, we can study the schedules and adjust them to ensure, although we do not witness it, that our son does not waste time out there. Especially during those more difficult afternoons for us.
You can do sports, or some art, or simply directed study, but with a clear idea: the importance of these activities lies in learning the knowledge most suited to your personality and we do not have to use them as "second nannies". Respecting this idea, we can rely on them to have our son controlled and delay us a bit more, just that afternoon he has judo, for example.
For the evenings that do not realize this type of activities, another idea can be that our son stays to play in the patio of the school with his friends until we arrive to pick him up. Inside the enclosure is safer and safe from any danger. In some schools, there are also libraries to study, read or do homework, although at these ages it is not as attractive as sports.
A schedule and some duties for children
To help you live the order and so you do not waste time, our son should have a clear timetable for the afternoon hours, after school. Whether there is someone to care for him or if we have pointed him to some extracurricular activity, he should know what he has to do at any moment: what time to snack, what time does homework and study, what time can he see the drawings or to play.
One of the most important activities of the afternoon is the homework of the school, and they need to spend some time ... and also need to have their parents. A lot of doubts and questions will arise. Make better use of that time if we help you, making you think and realizing that you know more than you imagine. Some afternoons are not possible because of our work, but we have to find some time at night to review the exercises and show that we care very much about everything: even the map of Spain with the most important rivers and tributaries that you have drawn.
Tips to avoid leaving children alone after school
1. Some afternoon that we are missing, we can call you by phone, not to watch, but to give him security and to check that we are really looking for him. The occasion may be to ask for an exam, etc.
2. The days that we delay later in the afternoon, children can stay longer at school, after school: either playing in the playground or studying in the library.
3. The older brother can also take care of the little ones if he is responsible, but we can not charge him all the duties: snack, watch the little one, ask the lesson ... Help, but it does not replace a father or mother.
4. If there are a couple of siblings of the same age group, It may be easier for them to stay alone, especially when one is mature enough. If neither of them is responsible, the effect may be the opposite.
5. Children need to know why their parents are missing, and where they are. Someday we can take them one afternoon to our place of work and ask them for a little snack.
6. The children should be clear that there will always be someone at home waiting for them, either the assistant, a relative, a neighbor, or any other means by which we opt.
We can put into practice the idea of sharing resources so that our children are always accompanied when they leave school. With a sister, neighbor, or mother of the school we will share the afternoons to pick up the children. You can also share a student, paying between two.
Ricardo Regidor
